“The God looked upon his angels and marveled at their perfection. HE called forth Zadkiel, his angel of Mercy, the most beautiful. “What will my creator have me do?” asked Zadkiel in radiance and love. The God smiled and tore Zadkiel’s wings so he could not fly. “Why have you done this?” asked Zadkiel. The God smiled and bent Zadkiel’s legs so he could not walk. “Why have you done this?” asked Zadkiel. The God smiled and tore Zadkiel’s throat so he could not sing and plucked his eyes so he could not see. “Why have you done this?” the angel asked again. The God smiled at his angel and replied ‘That’s for me to know, asshole. Now go do your fucking job.’” - Mean Ted Green, 2053 Excerpt from his Inaugural address as Mayor of Los Angeles
SONDEIM "THE FACELESS"
It is commonly advised when looking upon Gabriella Sondheim that the most merciful strategy is to focus on her positive features, of which she has precisely one: a perfectly formed left ear. The ear is small and smooth, with an exquisite paleness enhanced by the frame of Gabriella’s dark hair. The outer edge of the ear, tinged with a soft pink blush, curves gently downward into a rounded lobe the size of a child’s fingernail, completing the form of a subtle question mark. The delicate slopes of the inner folds create an impression that every word and sound, no matter how offensive, hurtful or mindless, is welcome and accepted without judgment. It was on this beautiful appendage, an ear without compare, that Big Roy Stubbs focused all his attention, because the rest of Security Chief Sondheim was thoroughly hideous. Numerous birth defects and a natural ugliness had converged on her with breathtaking malignity - even the kindest hearts were compelled to look twice and having done so, prayed to never look again. At present, Big Roy was closer to Gabriella than anyone else liked to get, a small mercy that allowed him to concentrate fully on the wonderful ear.
It didn’t bother Gabriella, who entertained no delusions about her appearance. Whatever helps him get it done, she thought to herself, not for the first time. Gabriella raised her head, whispered a single word and Roy’s pace slowed exactly to her liking. She closed her eyes, imagining a general feeling of love. Later, Gabriella sat on the edge of the bed re-adjusting her prosthesis. She could sense Roy staring at her back, summoning up the nerve to ask a question, probably something stupid.
“Go ahead and ask,” she said.
“Huh?”
Gabriella sighed. A crooked mouth forced her to speak well and mindfully, or else her words would tumble out as indecipherable slurring. When she was a small child, Gabriella was unable to form sounds at all. It had required seven operations to repair her face enough to allow physical speech and twenty more years for her to learn how to craft the words into more than gibberish. Today she spoke as well as anyone in the compound, a good deal better than your average lowdecker, and could even muster up a commanding tone when the rare situation called for it. Despite this, Security Chief Gabriella Sondheim loathed repeating herself, a trait hardly uncommon in law enforcement, but understandably acute in her case. “Just spit it out, Roy,” she said.
“Well, Chief, I was, uh, I was wondering if you could put in a good word for me to Lou Parsons.”
“Lou Parsons?” She didn’t know the name but imagined a loathsome, sweaty man who smelled of onions. Time must be tougher than she thought. She had always known Big Roy to be strictly a ladies man, but then again, if that famous pecker of his could rise for her it could rise for anyone. “Is business that slow?”
“It’s ain't like that, Gabby. Lou’s offering jobs, like real jobs. Up on the platform.”
“Is he?” That didn’t sound right to her, but Gabriella didn’t let on. “What sort of job?”
“Steam-cutter, over in the tallpipes. Lou took over for Fisher and wants his own people in there. You know how it is with them guys–politics and stuff like that. Says he needs about twenty guys for the crew. I just need a reference from somebody reliable, you know. So I, uh, I thought of you.”
“No, Roy, I don’t think I will put in a good word.”
Roy sat up straight. “What? Why not?”
Gabriella turned to the pretty young man, the polite stud who didn’t flinch (or gasp or laugh) when he looked at her. “I’m sorry, Roy, I can’t do it. How am I supposed to get my essential needs met if you’re off steam-cutting with Lou Parsons? You’re a rare animal, don’t you know that? Well-hung, handsome, willing? Bingo, boy, that’s the lottery right there, for the both us. Think about it - I can’t be walking around frustrated and tense and armed to boot, can I? It might drive me to do regrettable things, Roy. Nasty, mean things. You changing professions on me, well, that just puts too many innocent people in harms way. Hey, you could make the claim that you’re providing a public service. Now that I think about it, they should deputize you.” She felt a little bad for laying it on so thick, but hell if she was going to be taken for granted. Big Roy was so surprised his tongue flopped up and down like a dying fish before he finally found his words.
“Aw, what?! Come on, Gabby, we can still get together once in awhile...and…and I know some of the other boys around here would be real glad to spend time with you.”
Gabriella laughed. A wet, snorting sound like a pig with a head cold. “None of that’s true and you know it.”
“Sure it is! Sure, it’s true!” The poor doofus looked like he was going to cry. “Lot’s of guys would kill to be with you, Gabby, I swear. For free, even, maybe…”
Gabriella winced at that one. Time to let the kid off the hook before the white lies got any blacker. “Roy, take a puff. I’ll talk to Lou Parsons for you. It’s not a problem.” She limped to the door and opened it. Damp, salty air blew in, stinging her face. She turned from the wind and saw that Roy was bouncing up and down, happy as a puppy.
“Aww, I knew you were messing with me! Hot shit! You’re a cruel woman, Gabby, cruel and beautiful!” Roy caught himself…and then he doubled down, lowering his voice to sound sincere. “Has anybody ever told you that?”
Gabriella stepped out of the room so fast it looked like she had been pushed. “Good luck, Roy, I mean it,” she said as she went.
“Tell Lou I’m reliable, will ya’? Tell him I work hard and keep my mouth shut!”
She waved over her shoulder in the affirmative and headed down the long corridor, her false foot striking loudly on the steel grating. Kuh-plank. Kuh-plank. Kuh-plank. Kuh-plank.
Copyright 2015, Daniel Capuzzi