While Australia burns, I'm fiddling. With myself of course. Incidentally whilst googling for potential images I found there's a porn website called xhamster.com. Don't bother with it, that's my advice. I could find no red hot rodent on rodent action after scouring it for 36 consecutive hours. Back to Australia, which is like France. Very few people know where either of them are and none of them want to go there. They just end up in one of them by accident. Then they quickly realize they've fucked up somewhere. That was a roundabout way of getting a few kicks in on France, via Australia. Yes I'm a massive racist where France is concerned. I'll go to any lengths to put them down. I'll promote any stereotype to mock those Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys. It's perfectly alright for me to go racist on the French though. I have some French blood. On the hammer in my garage and some power tools in my basement. So everybody can relax. I'd hate them far less of course if they had anything resembling a sense of humor. It's not in their culture. Although Voltaire made several gallant attempts to introduce it. That's why they kept throwing him in jail and banishing him. France is in serious trouble right now though. With Britain leaving the EU, there's a small danger of them having to actually pay money in rather than just sucking it out. They are French though. So the slimy bastards will slither their way out of that somehow. I may be going too far here, but I remind you these people are French. Another flaw with the French is their inability to forgive any slight against them. They still bear a huge grudge against the Americans and British for saving their cowardly asses during WW2.
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A lot of the dance tunes were familiar to him. All of them should have been. The music had come from the earth he'd originated on after all. It was new here. As were the various dance moves, when there were any. What was new was the eclectic mix. From classical ballroom to disco and electropop. The People had come from there as well. Their war with the Diranni being the main reason it was such a backward shithole. Technological, and thus sociological, advances purposely sabotaged to ensure the invaders didn't notice them. Kulathorn had started the trend after The People departed for the Never. Delaying cultural progress so that mankind would survive.
In a way this was a celebration of the home world. The one where the Matriarch had been born. How long he and Pip graced the floor was hard to tell. They'd certainly gone through a lot of styles. To her surprise he was competent. He dare not let on it was more of a surprise to him. Jake had dragged her to the ball, unaware it wouldn't be another humiliation. All his. It would still have been an ordeal for her if he'd trodden all over her feet before dragging Pip to the ground as he fell. Somewhere, in all those other lives he'd led, he must have learned how to do this. In this one he'd only learned to slow dance with a lady by clinging onto her tightly while shuffling his feet. Being alright at it made the process more enjoyable. For both participants. He even managed to show the young lady a few moves.
He was taking a break. His dance partner had found others willing to take his place. Jake was keeping an eye on them. Part parental concern, mostly jealousy. Not in that way! Right now she was showing a man, who was at least old enough to be her grandfather, how to do a sultry tango. Which then segued into a jive. The automated system playing all these tunes really didn't give a shit. Neither did the dancers. She was safe from predatory males for now. The guy's wife, or whatever had cut in. Pip didn't even have to look around before one of Toopher's assistants stepped in. Toopher was over there with a delightful lady. So Scarlet must be off somewhere else. Oh no, there she was. The member of the Primary Council was strutting his stuff with two women. Indicating there might have been a shortage of males. Meaning he could be accosted at any moment.
It didn't matter. If it happened it happened. It would be much better to relax. Despite his exhaustive search for predatory males he hadn't found one yet. Jake put his feet up on the table. He was sure no one would mind. Toopher you old dog, there was a lot of barely covered body contact going on there. A droid refilled Jake's glass before floating away. That must mean he looked like he needed a drink. Now this had been brought to his attention he did. An older woman asked him for a spin. They dry humped through a couple of numbers before a more sedate tune came on. At which point she excused herself. Thanking him. Oh dear God, he was enjoying himself. No one had taken his seat so he put his feet up again. Relaxing into this was quite good. He allowed himself to slip off into a meditative state. Looking, but not seeing. Hearing, but not listening. In other words his usual state of being. Except it was for relaxation rather than avoidance.
A body slumped down beside him. Grabbed his drink and drained it in one swig. It was Scarlet. Looking flushed and energized. He signalled and the droid refilled his glass, then issued one to her. Without needing any instructions. It was a very pale blue in color. Nothing he was acquainted with. She drained that and got a second. The lady sure knew how to enjoy herself. Everyone here did. Neither of them spoke. They didn't need to right now. It was quite hard to have any sort of conversation anyway. After at least half a dozen more tunes, she began to study him studying the room. Then after a couple more she did a curtain drawing gesture with her hands. And some kind of curtain materialized. Invisible. The only reason he knew it was there, was the way it deadened the sound. He hadn't even known that was a thing.
"I'm getting worried about you." His divine angel announced. "I think you might be becoming domesticated."
He replied without looking at her.
"Is that bad?"
"Not necessarily. It's new that's all. You're relishing this. You danced very salaciously with Pip and that other woman. That's almost normal, but not for you. You're generally either manic or soporific. You pass through well balanced briefly. This is almost Zen for Jake Halliday. After my personality split I'm getting a bit nervous I suppose. You could be transforming into a cold, calculating, evil genius."
At last he gazed at her. Looking disapproving and disbelieving.
"That's complete balls. Nothing you ever do is single purpose. There are always several layers. In this case you're checking to see if I'm pissed off about you conning me into coming to this thing under false pretences. This is not a small and intimate welcome back, for Daisy, where I'm surrounded by friends. You were hoping I'd get into the swing of it once I was here. Well I have. Then you prodded and poked to see if I'd bite with that half true explanation. Thinking you'd make me contrite and apologetic as I defused those imaginary worries. Those big wide innocent eyes and the nods aren't fooling me either. There's something else you haven't said. At least one thing. It could be more. After all I'm dealing with a hot, calculating, evil genius."
She stood up suddenly.
"Sorry. Have to go. Toopher and his wife Amara are beckoning me back for round two." She kissed him goodbye hard on his cheek.
He rubbed at it suspiciously.
"You're wearing lipstick."
"I am. Amara lent me hers. Toopher loves the taste of it."
"Sooooo does that mean we're no longer exclusive?"
"Ummmm." She waved back at Toopher and his wife who were indeed signalling her over. "No. Toopher and Amara are monogamous. Have been for years. The chancellor has been feeling me up very proficiently though. And man can he kiss. He's been keeping my motor revved up very nicely." The next was was far too casually dropped. "Still it's early days yet. Who can say what will happen before Daisy gets here?"
Scarlet was about to remove that sound deadening curtain as she dropped her final line, he was sure. Jake grabbed her hand to stop her.
"Hold on a minute. We've been here hours. When does Daisy arrive?"
"At the end of the third day. You've got me now. No fooling you."
"You mean this celebration goes on for 3 whole days?"
"Not exactly. It goes on for 9 days in total. She's thrice blessed and it's 3 times 3. After she arrives she visits with everyone here." He released her arm, in shock. "These folks sure know how to party don't they."
And she was off. Stepping through the invisible barrier and swaying her hips to the music as she made her way over to the married couple. Jake did a few curtain opening gestures. To no avail. So he ordered another drink. She'd quaffed this one as well. Not to worry. He soon had a replacement and the blonde bombshell was heading his way. Pip stepped through the noise filter, her face scrunching up as she did.
"What have you been chuckling about to yourself for the last two minutes?"
"Ahh. It's Scarlet. It's complicated. She stitched me up yet again." He rocked with mirth.
"Stitched up? What does that mean?"
"She tricked me. Pranked me. Lied if you like. Just when I thought I'd worked it out she did me again."
Pip knocked back his drink. Another alcohol thief. God damn.
"Well Jake, do I still look hot?" She posed, hand on hip one leg out straight.
Pip was picking up all of the tricks.
"You're certainly sweating." She responded with an annoyed frown. "It's sultry. Sweat looks good on you. Anything would look good on you. You've become a very beautiful woman. In the interests of full disclosure I will have to state that I almost said I'd look good on you to. I bet I'm sweating now. My palms are moist at the very least. I'm going to order another drink. Will you join me?"
The robot waiter served them.
"This is quite something, isn't it. Never been to anything like this in my life. The People really know how to party."
"Yes. Scarlet said something very similar. A bit of advanced warning would have been nice."
"Didn't you read the data packet they sent us?"
"I think she might have intercepted it. I've been quite conscientious about reading them recently. Can't blame her. If I'd known the details I probably wouldn't have come along. I've not been to a lot of parties, as I think I've already told you. They're not my thing. At least they didn't used to be."
He snatched his drink away protectively as she leaned over the table. False alarm. Pip simply stroked it with both forefingers. Bringing up the full invitation which included a text file.
Kameerah was a 9 day event for very special occasions. A bit of a free for all. Where the rules and protocols of ordinary life were suspended. Right now thousands of these parties were going on. There hadn't been one for decades. It was that special. What happened in Kameerah, stayed there. You could talk about it if you wanted. Recall events. But they remained confined within that 9 day period. Making no difference to anything else. Some threw themselves into it and lost every inhibition. Others were more reserved. It was a time of complete freedom. Violence or even signs of enmity would lead to being expelled from this and any future celebration. You'd become a social outcast. Prohibited from all gatherings. Harm no one was the main rule. Either physically or emotionally. It was not like that movie where crimes were legal and went unpunished. Criminality in any form was not allowed. It was the social rules which were suspended and only with the permission of all those affected. It seemed to work. The limitations were the individuals to make. The extensions equally so.
This one was historic. It would be talked about for a very long time. To be followed by a general holiday lasting another 9 days. Possibly to allow recovery from any excesses. This was rarer than once in a lifetime. Given which the restraint being shown was admirable. Although there were 8 more days to go so everyone could be pacing themselves. Then for 9 days after that the Matriarch would be holding her audiences. Across the empire of earth. More holiday in a way. Only she'd be working hard throughout it. Kluke and her daughter by her side. Quite a few parades were planned. Jake checked the small print. It didn't look like he was involved. There were lots of other things. Many of which he had no understanding of. It involved their laws and customs so he assumed it didn't apply to him. He'd risk it. Jake had friends in high places.
"Is it alright if I take down the acoustic attenuator?" Pip asked.
"Sure. Scarlet put it up. I don't know how to shut it off. Thought it would just be the opposite. As you can tell it didn't work."
Pip raised her hands and mimed pulling something down. The music hit them full blast. She stood up, extending her hand to him.
"Well? You gonna give me a dance or what?"
He took hers in his.
"Happily beautiful lady. I thought you'd never ask."