SOMETHING FOR THE KIDDIES -
So there I was sexually molesting the startled gazelle when suddenly... Hello children. I'm Uncle Pervert so before we begin, make sure your parents are out of the room and there are no adults present. While Uncle Pervert tells you a lovely story. The Princess and the Penis? Little Red, riding cock? Sinderella? Wrinkled Foreskin? There are so many to choose from. Wonderful tales of princesses and princes, dildos and anal beads. Do you know what a golden shower is children? Or a Cleveland Steamer? If not you're going to learn an awful lot from the tales Uncle Pervert will tell. Adults may have told you that sex is about making babies. It isn't, unless you're very silly. Sex is about Babes, not babies. Your parents do sex you know. They are at it every night while you sleep. They could be doing it right now. It's a not a special cuddle at all. It's a lot of very stinky bodily fluids squirting all over the place. And then there's anal. That's a bit advanced at the moment so we won't go down that hole until later. After you've had a suitable introduction to the subject. I bet you little shits don't even know what a premature ejaculation is yet. Or impotence. Don't you worry, by the time Uncle Pervert has educated you, you'll be swallowing cock like a pro. Gargling sperm like a hooker and tit fucking as a hobby. That's just the heterosexual form of sex. Uncle Pervert is inclusive and some point buggery and felching will be gone into in explicit detail. I should point out deep throating a big cock is unisex. Meaning no matter who does it, it feels wonderful. Unless they're toothy. That's something we'll need to cover as well. Unfortunately my time is up. I'm only allowed limited access to the internet, due to a misunderstanding on what constitutes revenge porn. But hang in there children. Uncle Pervert will be back, and next time he'll be bringing videos and flavored lubricants.
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The bubble floated upwards. Faster and faster. Swelling in size. The murmuring and gurgling increased in volume until it popped and everything went to shit. He jerked and gagged at the obstruction in his throat. What the hell was going on here. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't even move. He was blind. The insistent alarms bleeped, drowning out the soft voices he'd been not quite hearing. Voices which were now alarmed and raised. Antiseptic, medical smells assailed his nostrils. He sucked them in like wonderful new sensations. Even as he choked to death he clung on to them. Before them there was nothing. The bubble burst. Popped by the needle inserted into him. A deeper darkness descended. Everything was gone. Including him.
This time the bubble grew far more slowly. Moving upwards at a crawl. Fighting its way to the surface a hairsbreadth at a time. Maybe it wouldn't pop this time. If he kept it slow the bubble might not pop. Blurred images floated by. Beautiful women. An alien sky. Futuristic cities and strange looking nonhumans. Giant creatures lumbered past. But most of all sorrow and loss. So that's what they looked like. He didn't think they'd be so brightly colored. Whatever those bright colors were. This time the bleeps were slower. less frantic and angry. The first real physical sensation was the pain in his dry throat. There was something up his nose. It went down the back of his throat. He still couldn't move. Yet he wasn't tied down or anything. Even if it did feel as if the weight of an entire planet had fallen on him. Hushed voices. This time he could make out words. At first they felt foreign to his ears. Then gradually he began to understand.
"What's the story with this guy then?" A soft silky female voice whispered.
"You haven't heard about our star patient then?" Another low feminine voice responded.
"No, I'm new here. Only been at the hospital a few days."
The second voice sounded impressed.
"Wow, you must be good if they let you into this ICU. Only the best are allowed to deal with this one. Surely someone mentioned him at your induction."
"They might have. It was pretty rushed though. They wanted me up and running as fast as possible. So what's the story then?"
"Inoperable brain tumor. By all rights he should have been dead a very long time ago. They only kept him here because it was unique. They've never seen anything like it. Here let me show you the scans."
A chair squeaked on the floor. Two sets of footsteps. And that overwhelming sorrow returned. Its source a mystery. He was dying of course. That's why he felt so sad and dejected.
"Jesus, that looks gnarly. It's symmetrical to. Have they any idea what's caused it?"
"Not the foggiest. What's even weirder is that he was dead for a while. No heart or respiration. No significant brain activity. He was an outpatient who'd apparently died at home. They brought him here to dissect him. Only he started to breathe while they were prepping. He'd signed the waivers for postmortem examination, but according to the rules he was still alive. Not that I'd call what he's been doing living."
"Poor bastard. How long has he been here?"
"Over two years now. I'm pulling rank on you I'm afraid. As the nube it's your duty to get the coffees first. Strong, white no sugar thanks."
"Only sounds fair. Are we allowed to bring drinks in here though?"
"No, not officially anyway. We'll have to take our ease in the office through there. When you come back I'll show you the ropes. You'll be shadowing me for the next few days, until I give the green light to you working alone."
"Your turn to buy the drinks next time though. I might be new here, but I'm not being taken advantage of."
"It's a deal. I'll be honest this is a pretty cushy number. Not much happens although the day staff had a bit of an emergency with him yesterday. He began to choke on his oxygen line. That was new. Wouldn't mind a bit of drama like that myself. Gets really monotonous."
"Hey wait a minute. Are you getting rid of me so you can get all freaky with him." The voice chuckled.
"No I am not. How dare you." the other one giggled.
"You've been tempted though haven't you?"
"I will admit there have been nights when the thought did arise. I am a professional though. I've resisted. Now get the coffees, I'm parched and I need my caffeine fix if I'm going to be training you."
Oh no. That ball of unbearable dejection had burst. It was a dream. A tumor induced hallucination. That's why he couldn't remember what it was that hurt so much. There'd been a beautiful woman. Among all the other beautiful women, she was special. Her name and face eluded him. But neither existed except in his imagination. His blind eyes wanted to cry. His dry mouth needed to squall. Dying was nothing compared to this loss. All those forgotten things, gone for good. What the hell were they though? Brown eyes, brown hair? Blue eyes, blonde hair? It didn't matter, because it was all nothing. He'd loved her though. Still loved her. His fictional soulmate. With an effort of will he allowed himself to sink into the depths. The bubble descended back into the nothing.
Cool hands were touching him. Moving his immovable limbs. No please don't, he wailed in silence. Let me die. If I'm dead I might be able to find them again. Find her. I must find her. She's the reason I exist. Except she wasn't. The nameless faceless woman a product of severe brain damage. The places he'd been, the stories he could have told, nothing but fantasy.
"Do you ever talk to him?"
The movements of his body continued.
"I used to. A lot. Not so much now though. I'd fill him in on all the news and gossip. How the war was going. That kind of stuff."
War? He'd been a historian. The touches ceased. They'd checked him for pressure sores.
"Surely it's time for you to get the drinks now. We'll be changing shifts in a couple of hours. Come on. You promised."
"I didn't exactly promise, but I said I would so I will. How do you like it?"
"Like my men. Luke warm and weak. But black, no sugar will do."
"I'll be right back."
The draft from the door wafted over him.
"Thank fuck for that. I thought she'd never leave." He felt her hot breath on his ear. "Hang in there babe. We'll get you out of here." Something icy cold stung his neck. Then something far less cold, but much more painful, ripped into his throat. What war? There was a war? Oh yes there was a war. Not the war to end all wars. This was the war to end everything. Things dripped back into his mind. "Sorry, the nanites were only at 40%, because that stupid woman wouldn't leave. This is going to take a bit longer than we calculated. That's going to screw with the schedule."
Something cold and heavy was placed in his hand. A pistol? Was he part of the war effort? His body began to tremble rapidly.
"Gurrrr arrrr." He exclaimed.
Holy shit this was hurting.
"I'm going to have to unhook you Sparky. It's not going to be gentle I'm afraid. It is going to be quick though."
Sparky, Sparky, Sparky. It echoed inside him. Cutting through all of the discomfort. Oh his eyes had been taped shut. The plasters took a few eyelashes and some eyebrow with them. Jake blinked. His eyes watered. His vision swam then cleared. Scarlet!
"Narrr furrrrr mmmmm."
"Right back at you my love."
He tried to warn her. His body didn't work.
"Nurse! What are you doing? The man at the door demanded, the woman beside him dropped her drinks.
"Awww shit." Scarlet cursed. "Would you believe I'm molesting him? Thought not."
She moved fast. Not fast enough though. The other nurses hand hit the red button while Scarlet was dealing with the doctor. Sirens blared. Lights flashed. The nurse swung at her.
"Help. Help." She went down with a single punch.
Scarlet put her hand to her ear to operate her comms device..
"Guys? Listen to that music, the extraction will be hot. Main entrance I'm afraid. Pops, get those drones in the air. Norbie, warm up the weapons systems. Sade and Fetu get round to the front, there's going to be a lot of lead in the atmosphere once we get outside. Morag I hope those charges are ready."
"Primary initiation sequence in three, two, one. Secondary initiation sequence will automatically engage on completion. Tertiary functions are low priority." The computer voice in his head advised him.
"Can you walk yet, my little wounded soldier?"
"Narrr guh."
"Bugger. Looks like I'm wheeling your ass out of here then."
She released the brakes on the hospital bed wheels and headed out the swing doors. The corridor outside was a lot colder and the flashing lights a lot more manic. Scarlet broke into a slow run, pushing the bed before her. Things were going so well it was no surprise they went wrong. A Fetu sized body appeared at the end of the corridor blocking out the light behind it. She left her post and moved towards the growing target. He stalked forward, grim faced and shaven headed. Two meters of meat in a nice security uniform. A grin split his face at the sight of a lone woman. Half a second later her two feet split his nose as they crashed into it. Credit to the man, he only moved back a half step as the blood fountained. That hadn't worked. Maybe this would. She closed on him again, having landed on her feet ready. Scarlet swayed under his swinging arm grabbing it to give her a lift to his back where she clung on delivering punch after punch to little effect. The manbear finally pulled her off throwing her back towards the stationary bed. Landing on her feet again, Scarlets eyes glanced beyond him.
"Balls. I thought he'd throw in in that direction. Then I could have picked up my swords and made quick work on him. Fetu I could really do with your help now my man."
She sprinted this time. His slow moving limbs again used to clamber all over the lumbering brute. Another frontal assault on his rear. Now she was kicking him in the head and face as he clawed at her constantly moving body. A single shot rang out. A major hole appeared in his forehead. It took his brain an extraordinarily long time to figure out he was dead.
"Leaf hurr uh lone yooo fuh ker" Jake was sitting up.
He rolled himself off the bed. Holding onto it as his legs threatened to crumple.
"Thanks babe. That's saved me at least five minutes chipping away at him." Scarlet stepped over the body retrieving her hidden weapons from a wall locker
Muscles were forming, brain cells began function. A high pitched voice sounded inside his head.
"It's nice to be back chief." It enthused.
"Oh God. It's good to have you back Squeak."
"If you could only have put more sincerity in that I might have believed ya. This body is certainly an upgrade from the last one. Can we keep it?"
With the nanites in her own body Scarlet could hear Squeak as well.
"Yeah. You're actually quite handsome. I definitely won't mind having a go on that. Let's get somewhere less fatal first."
Fetu and Sade turned up at that instant. Bearing gifts. With some help from Scarlet, Jake donned his body armor. As he zipped up his boots, she threw her own on. Then it was just a simple matter of bullying their way past the unarmed hospital security staff.
As soon as they arrived at the front entrance they could see the wall of armed soldiers and armored vehicles outside. The entrance was blown sending them ducking for cover behind their transports. Which were then blown to hell. Bodies were everywhere. The four of them stepped out. Then,out of nowhere, Pip was standing there with an open portal behind her and a huge smile on her face. They hurried through. On the other side Ursella met them. This time it was a magical hole they went through, to cover their tracks. The next one was mere meters away and being held open by Gungthor.
Jake looked up at the smoke filled sky and out across the burning city. Distant gunfire and explosions punctuated the soundtrack of a nation at war with itself.
"Right Sparky. Let's get you up to speed. A lots happened in the two years you've been here. Although we took a shortcut, so it's only been two months to us. Pip did the full term though. What a star. Now where should I start?"
*************************** THE BEGINNING **********************