Middle school was hell for me. Bullies, depression, feeling like I never fit in, all that stuff. To top it off, my bus ride to and from school was almost an hour and a half long, and my only friends on that bus were the last ones on in the morning, first ones off in the afternoon. It felt like my own personal purgatory for the longest time.
Then a friend of mine gave me one of the best gifts I've ever received. He got a new CD player, so he gave me his old one, along with two CDs: Hybrid Theory and Meteora.
Those two CDs, played back to back, last about 1 hour, 15 minutes. I know this because I listened to both of them almost every morning and every afternoon for the rest of that school year. Now, instead of purgatory, those bus rides were my escape. It was ok if no one else reached out to me. You guys did, through your music.
Chester, thank you for giving so much of yourself to people like me, who felt like at their darkest moments, we had someone out there who understood. And I know it's unrealistic, but I am so sorry that I couldn't be there for you to return the favor.
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well, I do.
A year ago on this date, six kids lost their dad, a wife lost a husband, a band lost their brother and we lost a light.
It’s been a year now and I still can’t believe we’ll never hear your voice again. Love and peace be with you Chester. Rest In Peace ❤️
"When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reason to be missed.
Don't resent me,
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest...
Leave out all the rest..."
The day you died, I relapsed. I was bargaining with my self and thought "I can get high once" and indulged. The literal moment I finished, my friends texted me with huge concern because you died. You had such an impact on me and everyone knew how important you were to me, they feared I would do something rash...
My entire life I dealt with suicidal thoughts and depression, and I turned to songs like What I've Done, Given Up, Numb, Blackbirds, The Down Syndrome, and just about anything to hear you scream what I was feeling. And you provided me peace at my darkest times.
Then you weren't anymore. And I panicked. I realized my own life was falling apart and I saw myself truly, for the first time, and it took you passing. I am forever grateful for you and Linkin Park seeing me through everything and still being there anytime I need to hear your voice. You got me into music. You changed my life in so many ways. I never got to thank you in person, but this full year of sobriety (after nearly 5 of failing) is to you Chester.
Rest peacefully, and with all my love, thank you. Find solace; there is safety in numbers ❤️
