I dunno why I always fall for this trick. It gets me every time.
If there is one thing you should never wish for yourself, it should be to never be the odd one out in your family (esp amongst your siblings).
Well I happen to be the odd one in so many ways but lemme start with this particular thing
I as a man/woman in my own right, do not like, I'm not a fan of, hate, abhor, wish for the extinction of one dastardly thing that was ever invented....... Yeah u guessed right PEPPER!!! 😒😒
So the story begins. I woke up one bright and early morning by 10am🙈 my usual chipper self. I decided I wanted to make food for the family (or specifically myself😁😁😁while the others eat whatever I could make up)
NB: another oddity.... I'm not exactly a sous chef or whatever like the rest🙌 but who cares. I cook. They eat whatever it is. 😈😈😈
Back to the story....
In the kitchen, there was cooked rice already, something tomatoey looking, etc. But trust me after doing microbiology as a course, you suspect everything and I mean everything 😒😒
So I proceeded to boil 7cups of rice which in my house is equivalent to 10cups seeing as they always fill the measuring cup to overflowing as if they are selling rice in the market.
As is normally the case, I added lots of stuff to the rice in an effort to make it ehhh.. Let's just leave that one first. Rice done. I sat to wait for the baby of the house so she could bring back the stuff I sent her to purchase(an effort in futility seeing as she takes her own sweet time walking down the road...she won't be rushed). The struggle🙇🙇
Before she left though, she planted a seed in my mind concerning the tomatoey sauce and u know how seeds of thought are, they keep growing and growing without remorse😏
First she ate some rice dousing my suspicions about it. Then she told me that the tomato sauce was specially prepared by the Ada Ada of the house and it was for the eating. In my mind of minds at some little corner, I acknowledged the drill..... But I squashed it out with a mind foot / foot mind whatevs.
So back to the wait, as I waited, I thought to myself, why not eat a lil rice and see what's up with the sauce. So I took some rice and mixed in a tinny little sauce (my consciousness was alive). I sat down like a don. I have arrived I thought. 😋
I took one spoon. It was nice, I took another spoon(in speed Darlington's voice), I felt a tinge of pepper, I said its expected. I know Ada Ada. I took the third spoon and voila all my taste buds (the pepper activated ones anyway) came alive. And I said to myself....... What a wonderful world??? Nah... I said I HAVE JAM TODAY!
I took a sip of water. No relief at all. Two sips, not even a chink. WTH, I drank a whole cup.(I don't even remember how it went down). Guess what. My mouth was still on fire. Yeee😱😱😱Egbami ooo! In between drinking more water and trying to wipe/scrape the pepper off my tongue literally, it came to me...... The natural remedy I knew... SUGAR. This was the moment where I had been catapulted into another life where I was now likened to an ant (the big one though. cos I cannor come and be small😉😉). Thankfully as is not usually the case, one cube of sugar... in my mouth (as they said in that eclairs advertisement when we were small) a mouthful of water to dissolve the sugar and my mouth was saved or should I say delivered from the tortures of the almighty pepper😳😳. I had to tough out the remaining 1/4 of the torture lest I be accused of consuming too much sugar as Ada Ada liked to say😏😏.
Well I skip the part where I accused baby of the house for leading me into perilous times for this episode to happen and also the part where I attempted to force her to consume the pepper sauce like I did. 🙈🙈
PS. Emphasis on the word attempted 😁 which means she didn't eat it for those of u that may not understand 😉