THE ADVENTURES OF MR. TAM-KIK
The Rounfl
Source
"Goustadik, goustadik (gently)", my little lambs, said Tam to the two big dogs, in his sweetest voice. "Don't get angry; here, here are two beautiful buckwheat crepes that I will give you if you leave my poor legs alone."
You see that the vagabond was not so stupid, on the contrary; and soon it would have been a pleasure to see Tam and the two mastiffs enter, arm in arm, into the Rounfl manor.
"Orsh!" said the latter, waking up to this sight. "This is singular; here, Bittern, here, Ragear, my accursed servants, may I correct you for having given the paw to a Christian."
Old Rounfl, as big as a ton, was sitting in a dark and smoky room, dug into the rocks on the side of the mountain, he was so big that he could not move.
Quickly Bittern, before the fatal stick had fallen (for the ogre had in his hand an ironed stick, two ells long), quickly Bittern threw two words into the donkey's ear of the Rounfl, who calmed down immediately. “It’s good, it’s good,” he said, “we’ll see that; In the meantime, get me this chicken, it will fit well on the spit with the other one."
Faith of God! Tam hardly had time to scratch his ear. Luckily, he had his tongue hanging out like a Quimper lawyer, and he started working with it straight away.
"Ah! Mr. Ogre", he cried, "Monseigneur Baron de Tronjoli, you would be very wrong to harm Tam-Kik, your best friend, who came here expressly from England.
"I don’t like the English; so, my mastiffs…"
"Excuse me, Monseigneur, I am not an Englishman, I do not look like one, I think, but it is out of love for Your Majesty that I went to this country of cooks to learn how to make new fashion cuisine."
"Orsh! Orch! It gives me an appetite, but I'm in a hell of a hurry.
"Patience, Monseigneur, nothing will be lost, leave it to me; where is the poultry?"
"Show him the spit and the poultry, and if in five minutes..."
"Enough, Monseigneur, we will be ready. Let's get to work!"
And as he said this, Tam rolled up his sleeves and followed Ragear to the kitchen. Oh! Jesus-Maria! what does he see in a corner of the kitchen!... The kitchen was quite large; there were blocks made from whole oak trees, enormous cleavers, frying pans as wide as millstones, a rotisserie whose wheels looked like a flour mill, spits, spits as long as the foot of the great banner of Clohars! It made you shudder when you think that there were pieces of flesh and bones nearby that smelled neither of veal, nor beef, nor mutton.
The famous Jalm Thurio was at the bottom of the chimney, near the fire, not to warm himself comfortably, don't believe it, but well garroted, tucked in like a chicken, ready to be skewered and grilled like Saint Lawrence.
Tam-Kik, although he had hardly any hair on his head, nevertheless felt it stand up with fear, especially when he heard Ragear say to him:
"Have it cooked in five minutes, and cooked to perfection."
Five minutes to cook a man!… Ah! there was a big fire in the fireplace, so hot that you were being roasted ten paces away.
“It has to be well cooked in five minutes,” repeated the monster, grabbing the spit with one paw and Thurio with the other.
"Huh! Red Devil! Tam murmured beside himself.
Suddenly he felt a stirring in his pocket and heard a little voice saying:
"Open quickly, open the cage quickly..."
Source: Les Aventures de Monsieur Tam-Kik from the French book Contes et légendes de Basse-Bretagne published in 1891.
Hello, my name is Vincent Celier.
I am writing translations of folk tales that I found in public domain French books, so that people who do not understand French may enjoy them too.
Tam-Kik is talking smartly to get out of trouble with the two mastiffs and the ogre.
But who does he find who is ready to be cooked in the kitchen of the ogre? Jalm Thurio!
I am sure Tam will be able to save himself and Jalm from the ogre, but will Jalm be grateful for this?
FAMILY PICTURES
This is a picture of my father. He was 73 years old when he died in September 1978. I was not able to be there at his funeral.
This is a picture of my mother, who died in July 2018, at the age of 97. I was able to be at her funeral. You can read about it in this post.
This picture of my mother and her 10 living children was taken several years ago. I believe this was the last time we were all together with my mother.
All my brothers and sisters are still alive. Philippe the eldest is 76 years old, and Nicole the youngest is 59.
-- Vincent Celier