When I first met Mike just over a year ago, he hadn’t expected it to go so well, but it was one of those random situations where familiarity and common interests made chatting together pleasant, so they decided to meet up again. This time they had dinner together, and by the end of the meal there was an instant realization of what was inevitably going to happen next, so they skipped the movie and went right back to his place.
It was different having another guy in his apartment, maybe because it was so bare, but he’d given the living room a funky jumble of colors with swatches of paint splattered on the walls and abandoned canvases. The couch looked like a donation, with a hole in one of the armrest cushions, and the end table was piled with books, tools, and other odds and ends.
“It’s a mess,” Mike said, “but whatever arrangement works for you is fine. I’m a really messy person and anything you see needs to stay here, or you can have it.”
Even though she’d kind of expected the mess, it was refreshing just the same. It did, however, make Emilia nervous. He must realize that he has a way with women already and this is the first time he’s had a serious relationship with anyone. Maybe it’s a lot for me to handle.
Emilia was the kind of girl who would say anything at the wrong time, so she was careful not to say anything at all. Instead of being bothered in the slightest by her silence, Mike acted oblivious to it and walked to his bedroom to get her something to change into. He returned with a sweatshirt, sweatpants, and even socks, seeing as she’d come from the office with heels on. His casual demeanor put her at ease, and taking a few tentative steps into his apartment, she put her purse away and kicked her heels off.
He sat her on the couch and asked, “Are you hungry?”
“Very.”
“I’m not much of a cook but I can make myself a sandwich,” he said. “If you want, I can make you something too?”
“I’m fine,” she said as happily as she could muster.
“Sounds good,” he said as he began to tear open packages of deli meat, being careful to stay out of her eye line. “You know, I want you to take a look at one of my projects,” he said, looking down at the sandwich as he carefully folded ham over bread, “and let me know what you think. It’s on my computer in the next room.”
“Oh, okay.”
He finished the sandwich and wiped his hands on his pants. “I’m letting you get a look at it,” he said as he walked to the other room and reached for the mouse, “because it could change everything.”
“Really?” She thought about what it could possibly be.
“Yeah,” he said with the same confidence that he’d seemed to have when he made the sandwich. “It’ll alter the way corporations interact with each other, and even though I’m sure you’re not going to understand everything, I want you to look at it and tell me whether it’s a good idea of not.”
“Okay.” She wanted to be optimistic, but she was worried that whatever was on the computer would be more of the same. Telling him it was no good would be a bad idea, too, since she didn’t even know what it was. Inside his bedroom, he hit a few keys and a screen came up with a well-written page of text. He moved a few mouse selections, and the entire page changed: the paragraphs were now different and the site’s navigation bar was altered. He took care not to disturb her as he explained how some of the changes made sense, while others were aimed at providing the corporation’s followers with something they had been wanting but hadn’t been able to express anywhere else.
The changes were so subtle that they were unavoidable. She tried to make sense of the changes while still paying attention to him, and she started to get the feeling that she was reading a poorly written children’s story.
“I changed the way the site looks,” he said, and to make the point, he made the main menu go away and all of the navigation tabs disappeared. Still upside down, she tried to make sense of the changes and picked out the main, plus one, and two, until she realized that every sentence had been removed. While she was busy placing them back, he changed the size and color of the font.
“So this site that I created is all about helping corporations infiltrate each other and weaken them, so it’s a lot less about the demonstration and more about the ideas behind the demonstration. So I wanted a site that people can’t get away from easily, like it looks very normal and feels normal, and they keep getting drawn further in and they’re kind of… zoned out but they’re aware, too.”
“Okay.” Something wasn’t clicking in the back of her mind, but she didn’t interrupt because she didn’t want to seem stupid.
“I’ve rewritten it about ten times, but for some reason I can never figure out exactly what to change. I think it’s because for some reason I can’t get it the way it should look.”
After he finished the sandwich and pulled a water from the fridge, she realized what it was: He’s so confident that I can’t tell whether this is a logical approach for the site. I didn’t know that that was how he could think. How many sites does he know about like this, this is way more complicated than I thought.
“Maybe if you try to get the site the way you want, you’ll see.”
“Okay.” He turned his back to her, probably thinking she was staring at the computer. “I think,” he said, “that for me, building a site is about testing ideas. Sometimes I do the experiments. Sometimes others do the experiments. Then we meet and show the results, so it’s kind of like a crowd-sourcing group, and we find things that work and then we can publish them. If we don’t like an idea, we can reject it and we can phase it out kind of like a committee.”
“It sounds like what you’re doing to this site is the same way. It’s just a terrible idea. So why would you want to give that to the world?”
“Because this site is so good I want to take it further. I suppose if you can understand what I do, you can like it.”
Emilia looked up from the computer and he smiled just enough to dim her rage toward him.
“Okay,” she said. “I’ll take a look.”
“That’s all I can ask for.”
“I guess.”
“You’re okay, huh?”
“Yeah,” she said with a sigh. “I never thought I’d ever see you like this.”
“Yeah, I’m glad I’m… I’m doing something for myself for once, even if it’s selfish.”
“How does this keep you from getting a job?”
“I’ve been getting some offers, but I haven’t really applied yet. And it doesn’t have to be that, does it?”
“You too?”
“Yeah, how’s that working out for you?”
“I-I should go.” She stood up and put her shoes back on. “I really enjoyed the walk and the conversation,” she said as she reached for her purse. “Looking at this site is a lot to take in, so uh… I’ll be back sometime.”
“Could I call you sometime?”
“Sure,” she said as she walked toward the door.
