Still haven't made it to my fathers work. I think we've made a pit stop. I'm waiting in the truck as he briefly leaves the truck. Maybe he went in the store to get a pack of smokes...a detail that's not very clear but I'm alone in the truck for a few minutes.
Another song rattles through the truck that I still can hear ringing in my head today. Well, at least the catchy "Had enough" hook. It's more Clapton.
Now this is far prior to CDs, and doubt my father made his own mix tapes. Maybe a two for Tuesday play on the local radio, as that was common in those days. 96.5 classic rock. I can still remember that rather clearly.
The song is "Bad Love". Clapton and Collins to be precise. And while Layla is technically not Clapton but Derrick and the dominos, it's possible they got the 2fer that early morning from a creative jockey.
Or maybe it was an entirely different day which just seems to be merged into that single memory. Things are still rather foggy here. These are my first memories of life. The ultimate fact is, I had a strong bond with my father and this sonic phenomenon I didn't yet fully comprehend.
In the midst of writing this entry I reviewed the song bad love. It's rather interesting how reflective the song is to me at this very point in time and also struck such a deep chord with me then. How did I relate to this heartache and yearning as a mere adolescent with no history or even a bit of experience with love? ...but it spoke to me then the way it screams at me now almost 30 years later.
I have had enough bad love, I do need something I can be proud of. If only I knew then this song could be a psychic reading maybe I could have made some better decisions along my way to the place I am now. The fact is I never knew all the words, and yet I did connect to the emotion that cried out of those distorted speakers. Sometimes words are just decorations for the energy that's being transmitted. Sometimes messages take a long time to decode and fully understand. Feelings however, are undeniable and universal. Learning how to tune in to this transmission may be one of my biggest challenges still ahead of me.