You are working on your thesis, but somehow don’t get a certain concept. Or you are creating a project report and feel stuck at one point. Or you are trying to learn how to use a certain software but one tool seems extremely tricky. Or imagine yourself in any other situation where you are trying to do something, but get stuck in a rut. What do you then? From all the different experiences I have had in life and from my observation of others, I have seen mostly people continue trying to do what they feel stuck at.
If someone feels stuck at a point or does not understand something, he/ she is most likely to keep going on with it and try exploring different angles of the problem. When nothing seems to work, he/ she is likely to push himself/ herself harder and exhaust her/ his mind.
I am not saying tackling what you don’t seem to understand from different angles is bad, neither am I insinuating that you should give up when you hit a tough spot and don’t get something easily. You must not give up at all and should definitely keep trying to move past that obstacle, but do you ever think about taking a break when you find yourself feeling stuck or not getting the desired result? Usually, taking a break is not what most people do when they cannot get their head around something.
Instead of calming your stressed nerves and doing something enjoyable for a while to get some stress and pressure off your body and mind, you are likely to keep trying that thing you feel trapped in. however what you don’t realize is that by doing this, you are simply increasing your stress levels and exacerbating the problem instead of finding a suitable fix for it.
What Happens when You Become Extremely Stressed?
Stress is your body’s natural response to any demand for any change in the routine. If you analyze this definition, you will figure out stress does not refer to a negative or upsetting response. It is basically how your body responds to any unexpected change in the routine or any demand in the situation that feels taxing. For example, if you are cooking dinner and suddenly some unexpected guests come, you are likely to feel a little agitated even if the guests are your close friends you love hanging out with. The feeling you experience when you encounter a change in the situation is known as stress.
But if stress is just your body’s response to any change in the situation, why do you feel frustrated, annoyed or upset when things don’t go your way or when you encounter undesirable or unexpected situations? This is because the change that you experience can be enjoyable, exciting, demanding, upsetting or challenging. If that change that you experience is exciting or enjoyable, you usually enjoy that experience even if it is unexpected or challenging and even become better at something than before. For instance, if you get a project where you get to lead your team and you find that challenge exciting, the stress that comes from it will be enjoyable. This kind of stress is known as eustress which is a positive type of stress and it is a good way to improve your performance, but I’ll leave this discussion for another post. Let’s come back to the topic for today.
While the stress associated with a challenge or change that you find enjoyable and exciting is positive, one that you experience from going through an undesirable and frustrating situation is exactly the opposite. If a certain change makes you feel frustrated, the stress that comes from it is likely to be negative. Most of the time when we say we are stressed out, we are referring to this type of stress. This stress makes you feel weighed down, burdened, gloomy and exhausted. This is exactly the stress you go through when you feel stuck at a point and have nowhere to go. When you don’t understand a concept; when you encounter a massive and threatening obstacle; when you feel all hell has broken loose; and when you feel you are going to lose- it is this stress that you are experiencing in all such instances.
When you come across a threatening or challenging situation, your brain activates your stress response aka the fight or flight response. This response produces certain physiological changes such as rapid heartbeat and breathing that helps you combat the stressful situation effectively. It is your body’s natural mechanism of dealing with threats and is quite important for your survival. However, if this mechanism stays switched on for a long time and becomes active even when there is no need for it, your routine stress turns into chronic stress. One of the major triggers for the unnecessary onset of your stress response is continuing with something when you feel stuck at it or thinking about a problem for too long.
Naturally, when you keep stressing on something, you keep feeling frustrated which forces your body to stay in the fight or flight state for a prolonged time period and this does it no good. You neither find a fix for your problem nor do you feel any calmer. So what should you do in such situations?
Take a Calming Break and Unwind
While this may seem silly to you now, taking a relaxing break from the tough task or whatever obstacle you are going through is actually an effective and appropriate way to calm your stressed nerves, mitigate your chronic stress, unwind and slowly become optimistic, clear and strong enough to look outside the box for some good solutions.
Whenever you feel you have nowhere to go and are trapped in a problem, and have worked on resolving the issue for hours, just take a break. The break should be at least 30 minutes long and can even go up to a few hours or even a day depending on how taxed and exhausted you are.
During that break, you should do anything that calms you down and try not to think of that problem you feel trapped in at all. Yeah, that may seem impossible so try not to think of it as much as you can.
Begin your break by taking a few deep, cleansing breaths for about 2 to 5 minutes. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth, and deepen each breath as much as you can. As you take deep breaths, try to concentrate on your breath only and nothing else. Focus on how you inhale and exhale, and how that makes you feel inside. Yes, you are likely to wander off in thought because you aren’t yet trained to live in the moment so when that happens, very gently, bring back your attention to your breath. Keep doing this for 2 to 5 minutes. This practice is known as ‘mindfulness breathing meditation’ and is a fantastic way to break your worry cycle and gently bring your attention to the present moment. You can do it for a longer time period too if you please.
When you end it, you will feel a lot calmer than before. I have been writing on meditation for a few years now but I didn’t really practice it since the past one year. I am still not regular in it, but I make sure to do it whenever I am super-stressed and honestly, it does the trick of assuaging my stress just fine.
After your quick meditation session, eat or drink anything that you really like and then move on to doing some enjoyable and calming activities. Pick a few activities or any one activity you’d like to indulge in during your break or even for the day if you are really stressed and then carry those activities out only. You could watch a movie you like a lot, read a good book, go for a walk, take a warm bath, bake, go for some shopping, meet a friend, paint, dance, listen to music or do anything else that you have fun doing and something that really calms you down.
Whatever you decide to do, make sure not to choose an activity that reminds you of your tension(s) or in any way increases your stress. This is your relaxation time so you need to use it wisely. Each time you find yourself thinking about that stressful event or problem, distract yourself by drinking some water, doing something else, leaving that situation you are in or by taking a few deep breaths.
Enjoy your relaxation break as much as you can. Make sure it doesn’t exceed a day or two at the most. For me, an hour break works well. I often feel quite at peace after watching FRIENDS or reading a few self-help books I love or playing with my son for an hour even when I am extremely upset. After an hour or two, I return to my problem and work on it one more time. About 99% of the time, I find a good fix for the problem.
You should try doing the same- whatever it is you feel stuck at, just get back to it once you feel calm and relaxed, and give that issue another go. Now that you are fresh and energized, you are able to think clearly and with a better perspective on the issue. Also, since your stress levels are under control, you can think on the problem with a clear, positive and open mind. Just do that every time you feel stuck and you will definitely move past that obstacle.
Hope this article helps you out. Do share your viewpoints on it and on how you tackle your stressful situations. Until next time, love and light,
Sharoon.
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