Good afternoon all!
How are all of you this fine Sunday?
I'm sitting here after a rather long and emotional morning with my daughter thinking. I'm pretty much always thinking, let's be real, my brain never shuts down! This afternoon I'm thinking about family and mental health. See, weather my daughter wants to admit it or not, I am the primary care giver to my beautiful granddaughter.
My daughter gets so wrapped up in what people think and what society says she needs to be doing that she forgets to just take care of what's best. Period.
You see, I don't care what Suzy down the street or Joe next door thinks of how I raise my kids. I pay no mind to what the world around says is acceptable behavior, because at the rate these kids today are going, my 5yr old son will be robbing banks if I followed society standards. According to society, he should have no consiquences.
What do I mean?
I mean just what I said. Kids today are treated so fragile. Like they are these delicate little eggshells that will break if you tell them no. Most kids today have no concept of what it means to earn anything, do a chore, maintain respect for themselves (let alone anyone else) or deal with consiquences of poor choices.
Now society tells us to give our kids choices so that they have a voice. I can appreciate that concept and even stand behind teaching children to stand up for themselves, their values and their beliefs; the key is instilling these values and beliefs first. When we give them a voice without values all they are doing is showing their voice. Screaming their opinions. Little opinions based on what? Video games and music? Because from what I see when a minor make poor choices we are then reprimanded (by society) for diciplining our children or we give these kids excuses for poor behavior.
See a minor steals a car and robs a store to get new shoes. Society excuses them because their family can't afford a car or new shoes and how else can they get these things? I'm over here thinking, teach them how to MAKE some money and buy some shoes!!!
What does that have to do with my daughter? A lot. I raised her with respect, consiquences, values and dicipline, however during her multiple hospital stays she picked up these ubsurd ideals that somehow what others think matters and that she is beyond consiquence.
She is 19 and I STILL have to enforce consiquences on her every day. Some of you may feel that I contridict myself by basically raising her daughter for her, but that is NOT in any way about my daughter. It is about my granddaughter.
She deserves the structure and stability my daughter is currently unable to give her. She gets lots of love from her mother, however, she isn't always able to maintain patience to be level headed. My daughter can't always handle herself and therefore handle a child. I want more for my granddaughter and I am able to give that to her. By taking on the responsibility of raising her I am holding my daughter accountable for NOT handling herself.
See she wants to have control of her baby. In my house, it doesn't work like that.
**So what got me on this? **
Structure and stability. The school year is about to start. My daughter has a steady job, pays no rent. My son is about to start homeschooling for kindergarten and my granddaughter will be doing early PreK.
I had a talk with my daughter about a few changes that need to be made. She took it pretty hard and personal. It is not. It is all about the baby. The kids.
My kids, this house will have structure, stability and consiquence.
Forgive me if I talk in circles or ramble on. This stuff is straight from the heart, raw, unrevised and real.
A dirty diaper calls!
Much love!