I really thought that the good days of my life will have no end and that I will always have a complete family but my dad passed away just months after I graduated from college. I was just reaching my half year of being an assistant buyer for Esprit. A phone call crushed my day as I was putting Hershey chocolate bars on my colleagues' desk one by one. We are going to have our company Christmas Party that night so I came prepared with all the presents I'll give. My mom was on the other line, in panic which made me worry so much. She said that my dad has very weak pulse and is currently lying down his head on her lap, unconscious. He had a massive heart attack and wasn't able to make it. He was pronounced dead upon arriving at the hospital. I felt numb, tears continue to rush through my eyes. I kept vomiting liquid for unknown reason. I felt dying...
I had a boyfriend at that time. I got to introduce him formally to my dad just a month before he died. He and his family went to the funeral. I thought he can be there to comfort me as I grieve from a loss but I was wrong. He asked for a cool off just nearly 2-3 months after my dad's death then a full break up. He said that he just felt that he isn't good for me anymore (bluff). And what hurts the most is that, I fought for the relationship despite my dad's initial rejection because he wanted me to focus on my studies and he has a thing against basketball players(womanizer). He had a new girlfriend just a month after our breakup.
These incidents brought me in tears for more or less 6months. I remember crying myself to sleep and there were times when tears would just ran down my cheeks. I felt so bad disobeying my dad and for being stubborn. I felt stupid for letting myself get fooled by a guy.
I prayed to God everyday asking for His divine guidance to lead through the way of light and ask for His forgiveness. I failed my dad which made the feeling worse. I just continued my life from there on having this close relationship to God. It helped a lot! I thank God that I am alive and happy now. I can smile wholeheartedly again and continue to strengthen my faith.