Physicist Thomas Campbell says life is a simulator optimized for our growth. This video might be a good introduction to his work:
From that perspective, external events that make us irritated, frustrated, or angry, are just ways in which Life is training us to be stronger with our fiery emotions.
So it's not random, and it's not the other persons' fault in any way... And it's not that "it shouldn't be this way".
In fact, it's just a game. Life keeps throwing things at us, and when we don't react, we win the point. When we lose our cool, we lose the point.
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