Learn how you can realize effortless success by following the 5 key steps featured below.
There are a myriad of characteristics that make individuals more prone to success than others.
The simplest and most recognizable attribute is uniqueness through contrast. Below are the steps you can take to start creating a path to success through contrast.
Following these five steps and applying them to your daily life will help you attract people who can offer you jobs and opportunities that breed success.
STEP 1: AWARENESS OF ASSESSMENTS
People are everywhere. They may or may not know you, but the six degrees of separation theory suggests that everyone is six or fewer steps away from an introduction to any person on the planet.
The one thing all humans do when we meet is start analyzing each other immediately.
When presented with new information or when encountering unfamiliar faces, humans have a natural tendency to look for patterns and classify people based on what they know about others with similar qualities.
It’s an evolutionary brain function that was crucial to survival during the hunter/gatherer phase of humanity, making it virtually unavoidable.
First impressions are long-lasting and the most essential part of understanding and utilizing contrast.
When others first realize your existence, it is either through physically seeing you, hearing about you from someone else, or coming across information about you on the internet.
Those are the three channels you need to lock down in order to create effective contrast:
THE WAY YOU LOOK/ACT IN PERSON
WHO YOU ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH AND HOW YOU ASSOCIATE WITH THEM
WHAT YOU OR YOUR ASSOCIATES SHARE ABOUT YOURSELF ONLINE
STEP 2: LOCK DOWN YOUR CHANNELS
Be aware of how you look to lock down your visual channel.
The way you look and act in person creates a strong and lasting impression on people. It is important to visually appear in a way that elicits positive thoughts and emotions in others.
Burn the idea into your brain:
BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR AT ALL TIMES TO FULLY LOCK DOWN YOUR VISUAL CHANNEL.
When in public or around other humans: be genuine, be cordial, and be pleasant; you never know who is watching and who may have a significant connection with someone you know or meet in the future.
Acting this way creates true feelings of happiness and relieves stress, so it is a beneficial practice in general.
LOCK DOWN YOUR ASSOCIATES CHANNEL BY CHOOSING YOUR PEERS WISELY.
Choose your friends and who you associate with wisely because this channel carries a lot of weight.
Imagine if one of your associates told you a story about their friend who cheated on his wife and got caught, or was belligerent at a wedding last weekend, or played hookie from work and got away with it.
Now, imagine you owned a business and you were looking to hire a manager and this guy you heard a story about showed up for the interview.
You probably wouldn’t hire him based on the story you heard about him right?
Even when you don’t physically meet someone, the information you hear about them from someone else is used to create the first-impression foundation your brain will continue to build on from that moment forward.
Make sure the friends you let your hair down with are trustworthy and respect your privacy and reputation. Make sure your peer group is a solid group of individuals with decent reputations as well.
You don’t want one of your random associates to tell other people they know you because you used to buy drugs from them or something.
LOCK DOWN YOUR INTERNET PRESENCE, PRONTO.
The internet works the same way except instead of the story-teller or associate putting their individual spin on things, an outsider realizing your existence for the first time via the internet will draw their own conclusions.
This is the most popular way people discover each other these days: through internet profiles, posted pictures, mugshots, news articles, and videos.
Be wary of your associates or random people taking pictures or videos of you in public. Media is everywhere and can kill your reputation. Once it hits a server connected to the internet, you can bank on it being accessible forever.
Be wary of things you choose to share about yourself on the internet.
Do not assume privacy settings protect you. Any of your associates on social media can see something you share and tell a story about you to someone you may meet in the future.
STEP 3: ASSESS YOURSELF
Conduct a brief assessment of yourself:
- How old are you?
- What is your gender?
- Where did you come from?
- What is your profession?
- Who is your peer group?
Now, imagine a man… and let that settle into your brain for a moment.
The man is in his mid-forties… allow a few more moments to pass as your brain formulates assumptions about him:
He is a Harvard graduate who majored in religious studies… focus carefully on the image your brain is creating.
He was born in Japan and currently lives in a small apartment in Australia.
He is the father of three children and each child has a different mother.
In his spare time, he enjoys surfing and playing the saxophone for a jazz band.
Did you notice how your brain started creating assumptions about a person you have never even met? This is what our brains are doing constantly as we receive new information.
We try to put things into boxes and categories or draw parallels between similar things.
When you thought about a middle-aged man who studied religion at Harvard, you probably didn’t imagine a Japanese, saxophone-playing surfer.
Assess yourself and think about the things people conjure in their mind as details are revealed. Consider all angles and aspects as well.
For example: I would ask myself, what do most people think about twenty-something-year-old girls in general? Another angle would be, imagine what a person who started a paintball field looks like?
Study the key characteristics about yourself and make a list of all of the stereotypes you could possibly fall under, then move on to the next step.
STEP 4: DISRUPT THE CLASSIFICATION PROCESS
Use the list of stereotypes to thwart the classification process of anyone you meet or discovers your existence. You may already have qualities that are divergent from what most would consider the norm.
If that is the case, make sure those qualities define you somehow or end up in the limelight.
If you were the Japanese Harvard grad, you would want your surfing habit to be known. Let interesting things about yourself become well-known fun facts.
HIGHLIGHT UNIQUE STUFF, TONE DOWN STEREOTYPICAL STUFF
For example, a stereotype that exists among kids and young adults is that we are addicted to cellphones and social media.
Combat this by toning down your cell phone-use and avoiding checking social media in front of others.
If you are a young person that loves Taylor Swift and also loves Fleetwood Mac, tone down your love of Taylor Swift and highlight your love of Fleetwood Mac.
Here is a caveat: most people like to talk about themselves. A lot. Refrain and create that air of mystique that keeps people wanting more.
MODESTY IN APPEARANCE, RESERVATION IN COMMUNICATION
Wearing revealing clothing is generally not a good idea.
It is more common to see scantily clad humans amok courtesy of advertising, social media, and the internet, so practicing modesty is an easy way to create contrast.
When you dress modestly, you are more likely to pique people’s interest.
This applies to communication as well. Bloc Party said it best in their song I’m Making Eyes at You:
“Oh, please don’t, please don’t speak, you’ll the kill the mystique.”
The more you talk and the more information you reveal about yourself, the less contrast you can create.
MAKE CONSCIOUS EFFORTS TO CREATE CONTRAST
If you do not have something that separates you from the herd, you need to branch out. This includes how you carry yourself, what you do for a living, what you do in your spare time, and all kinds of things.
If you are having a hard time breaking out of your mold, here are a few things to get you started:
- Pick up a new hobby
- Listen to music from different time periods
- Watch cult classic movies
- Pick a subject you know nothing about and start learning about it
- Learn a musical instrument
- Learn a new language
- Read classic literature
- Pick an interesting person (dead or alive) and learn about their entire life like Vanderbilt or someone equally awesome
- Buy a camera and start taking pictures of things
- Start a blog
- Write a book
- … ETC!
IF YOU’RE NOT GROWING, YOU’RE DYING.
STEP 5: MAINTAIN STRONG, CONSISTENT SELF-REPRESENTATION
Once all of the aforementioned steps have been followed, stick to the plan.
Consistency and reliability are characteristics that also create contrast.
If you are unable to branch out and stay on the path of creating contrast, it is almost better to stay in a place you can be stable. Wild, drastic changes can be interpreted negatively by others.
Push off the dock and set sail on a path to success through contrast. Most people are comfortable on the shoreline with everyone else, living shallow lives led by materialism, selfishness, and other things that decay the soul.
Life is too short to be a part of the masses on the shoreline.
