There’s a serious issue happening in the lives of many people.
From professionals to entrepreneurs.
From business owners to line workers.
It’s an issue that has been popping up over the years on social media — and lately, it’s been showing itself daily in Facebook and LinkedIn Groups that I belong to.
It begins as a quest to be successful.
An innocent post on social media asking for personal development books.
Followed by comments upon comments about books ranging from Napoleon Hill to Brene Brown, from Tony Robbins to Brendon Burchard, from the Bible to Eckart Tolle. And many in between.
A recent thread I shared on is currently at over 200 comments in 3 hours, with each comment listing at least 1 book if not 3 or more. Most are sharing multiple book titles.
The purpose of the post is to learn about personal development.
The result of the post is a listing of books that people have read.
Only a handful of comments (including mine) explained why the book was a game changer in our lives.
The person on the quest for success begins purchasing or borrowing the recommended books. They read 1 book a week. They feel as if they’re on a journey to success. They feel good that they’re doing something positive for themselves. They gain insight into their current or immediate situation and then move on to the next book.
A year later, after reading 40+ books (some took longer than a week to read), they ask for recommendations for personal development books...
because they are hooked
on the occasional thrill of insight
on the idea of change
on the hope that they can have the peace of mind, the solid relationships, the financial success they’ve been reading about.
What have they achieved? What are they now an expert at doing?
They are an expert at reading and recommending a book.
If someone were to ask them “what, exactly, did you do to change your behavior in business? toward your spouse? at your job?” they don’t have an answer, because in reality they haven’t changed anything about themselves.
I think we’re dealing with an addiction to personal development that focuses a LOT on looking for an answer from the outside (a book) and not on how the application of the lessons in the book actually change you.
Honestly, if you did focus on implementing what you learned in the books, you wouldn’t need to continually ask for recommendations about personal development books.
So, now what? I’ve identified the problem and that requires that there be an answer, right?
My answer is this:
If you have read more than 10 books on personal development and your life hasn’t changed dramatically — it’s time to stop reading and time to take action on the lessons you learned.
Why?
It’s called PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT.
This implies you want change to occur in your life. And the only way that change is going to happen is if you change inside. Your thinking is what is keeping you from succeeding. It is stopping you from growing beyond your current situation. It is the ‘wall’ that you are hitting. It is the cause of your frustration and anger at the world.
These wonderful books on personal development that are being recommended are meant to be studied. Not read.
They’re not meant to be set aside. What’s inside them doesn’t work when you read through them, set them aside, and reach for the next one. You won’t change by simply ‘absorbing’ what is read and moving on. Trust me.
I see too many people that are stuck, think they know the way out is through personal development books, and years later are still stuck…emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, spiritually. Some have gone backward and become bankrupt in those areas and find themselves asking: Is This All There Is? because they have no meaning in their lives.
How do you stop the reading and actually start the personal development?
Pick one book, study it, apply one thing at a time in your life, and you will see change in yourself and your life.
What if you can’t stop? What if you find yourself drawn to all those lovely book covers offering Success! and Mindset Transformation?
I recommend that you join a group of people focused on studying and learning success principles. This way, you can learn from them as they share their experiences with a specific principle, and you can share your experience.
What will happen is that you will become accountable to yourself and to others to actually ACT on what you read in the book. To develop the habits you said you want in your life. To improve areas of your life by making changes in yourself.
The extra benefit of being part of such a group is that you will get support. Much needed support.
The reason it’s so easy to just read and move on is because it doesn’t require work, or patience, or planning, or awareness, or purposeful actions on your part. Being a part of a group of focused people will help you stay on track, be purposeful, and have a place for you to go for support when you’re stumbling or lost or afraid.
Yes. Afraid.
Because that’s what it really boils down to — people get comfortable with who they are (whether they like themselves or not) and are afraid to change because…well…it means change and it’s uncomfortable.
Where to find a group?
Your local library.
On Facebook — in groups, look for a Closed group.
On Linkedin.
Search Google for Learning Community Success Principles or Reading Group Success Principles, or something similar.
Ask a friend.
Ask a business colleague.
Do it.
This time next year… you will be the person you dream of being because you finally started doing.