Surrounded by Pain and Misery: First Questions;

How do you deal with it when you're surrounded by pain and unforgettable pain? 

A girl is at her lowest dealing with life in the darkest places of her life, and then has to deal with someone she loves and holds a respect for, telling her to "just die?"  I mean you're at your lowest already living in the dark life from circumstances, environmental, economic and grief stricken from pains and it's what these boys will do and then has to feel the grief of being manipulated on top of it, telling her to, "just go do me and everyone else a favor and kill yourself," and "hurry up and die already bitch," and "you're already slowly dying in there, so just hurry up, and next time you take pills, I'll bring you the water three times to make sure you do die, bitch?"  I'm so heart-stricken with sadness when you just witness pain at insurmountable levels just waiting around the corner for you to see, hear or oversee, and then you feel it too.  It's wrong what men act like when they feel they can manipulate a person at their lowest to go an die.  How does a person live with themselves and how does she live with that pain?  You go through hell in life when people lose respect for a life.  This Is Any Life You Self-Consumed Ass Hole!  You only got one life to live and its unfair to tell people this kind of shit at their lowest.  (It seems to me that when no one else has anything else to give, and doesn't want to give their love, they end up giving their hatred, seeing as to the fact that in most cases they'll get away with it - even the murder of the poor soul the inflict with mental wounds.)  I've heard and felt my fair share of abuse when I was neglected the hope from where I was at when all you're thinking of is just wishing all this pain was over and not truly wanting to die, but instead, it's more like wishing to get to live a greater life, and feeling the painstaking sadness you feel more or less "you can't."  

Then to be told things like that? Or just "kill yourself" by someone you loved with all your heart and more? It's wrong. It's wrong! It's WRONG!! 

Now pretend that they did what you said to do, they killed themselves?  (Does it make you feel good to know you just got this person to go and die?)  This type of thing happens every day and people blame the suicide on the suicidal person and not themselves?  (I blame the humanity as a whole for not seeing the truth behind these so-called suicides, as they are more like murder.)  In other words I blame the manipulators and abusers of this crime.  

Instead we who feel the most abuse in our world end up in jails, end up homeless, and end up court ordered to go to abuse classes or anger management and other things perpetrated by the abusers, and even some cops.  How is it right to have the abused be forced into where the others should be?  How is it right?  Can you tell me that?  How is this life fair for these people that are sickened with relentless grief being given to them? 

Now, I want you to pretend that this happened to you.  You had bullets whizzing by your head from a cop who's father was a cop and his fathers father was a cop.  And tell me how you respond?  

You're just searching for safety but feel as though your home life can't protect you, and you're a small kid, scared of the cops and how they'd respond? What do you do?

Now you're 18 years older and you still are feeling threatened by these cops, these people, and the places you live, work or sleep and you can't get any sleep where you live because of imminent dangers that are present in the home? (As building code states it, you could die from the conditions.)  Now imagine you got body lice and you're feeling scared to even walk outside your front door?  You're scared to approach people because you don't want to give them something that you feel you got from an apartment, and for the most part, you feel like death rolled over.  And now the job you have at the same time taking care of your sick mom isn't paying you, what do you do and who can you confide in?  You want to hire a lawyer so bad that you're calling around trying to get help.  Lawyer after lawyer, and you can't get help, so you contacted the city, police, and again lawyer after lawyer - and no one seems to care about your rights.  (You know you have rights to secure, but you don't know how to go about getting them secured.)  Yet, you spoke with the Attorney General, wrote them letters even, and no one is doing anything to help you.  You get a little solace from drinking so now you start to drink daily though you know it's not like you, but you needed to cope, so you do.  You end up tipping over the Christmas tree and now you're in jail all while feeling, what is all this for?  You know you weren't wrong for wanting to secure your rights and need to be protected by the law somehow and that your whole environment and economic situation bled you dry?  But, now?  Now you're feeling suicidal from wanting a better life and you're taking pills for depression so you get off of them, and haven't felt more gumption to fight for a long time, so you call and call again, but lawyer after lawyer tells you that because you're not the first person on the lease - no one is going to care about you.  And someone from your past you are reminded of who was telling you to just hurry up and do the world a favor and just die - go kill yourself, and you'd be doing the whole world a favor?  (As no one needs you anymore.  No one likes you anymore.  And, even your friends are now telling you to just go and die, and I can't handle your problems.) 

Second Questions: What do you do?  Where do you go, when no one can seemingly want to help you?  What would you do? DO YOU Kill yourself? 

If you do that, you're giving a lot of people what they want.  You know you have greatness to give to other people and maybe even give your story of inspiration - to inspire people how to get out of this mess - but you just don't know how to go about doing it.  If you could just get through this trap in your life, you know you'd be fine, but you're having a rough time now.  And to top it all off, nowhere is hiring you because they see a criminal record that doesn't even make truth to what you've gone through or they see a credit report that was created by bad people working you over all the time.  You're almost bled dry of money or a place to call home and even family doesn't want to help you.  And, now you're homeless on the very continent that tells you since birth that you're free and that we live in a "free country."  (Yeah, RIGHT, I think...  you want to sell me on a freedom that I can't see, I don't see anywhere, and I can't feel in my heart?)  What do you do when you're drained of all energy, all income, and family can't even help you because you're head is swollen with grief and you have an ear infection that doesn't ever go away?  Just what would you do to fight?  What's next?  You feel like you're slowly dying and you're surrounded by grief and pain and feeling the world - your world - at your lowest point ever?  What's next? 

Now, imagine that's you.  What do you do when you can't fight anymore?  You try, but you're manic and feeling forced to be depressed by economics, people, environments, non-payment of past wages, and more and more grief - I couldn't even begin to tell you what I see through my eyes, and you probably wouldn't want to know it, or hear it anyways.  I'd be surprised if you read this, this far. 

Third Questions:  What's the outcome?

You don't believe in pills because they make you fear that when you're taking them that you're going to actually follow through one day and commit suicide - and you know that you don't want that, and wouldn't even feel these things had you never been through utter hell in the first place.  (In fact, you felt alive; joy, happiness, love, and a whole array of goodness.  And, you shared that sentiment with your loved ones.)  You feel better off of them! But, everyone around you wants you to take them saying it's for your own good knowing full well, they're not. You know how you feel when you're on them already and that you fear you'll end up killing yourself if you take them again.  Would you take something that made you feel suicidal?  Hell no!  You'd get off of them and fight to survive without them, am I right? But, Now you're being court ordered to follow the directions by a mental health professional, some person, that isn't you.  They aren't in your body.  Now, you could basically get in trouble for not taking a pill that increases your chance of dying or making you feel suicidal.  "What!?" you think? "How is that even right?"

I'm basically needing a lawyer or lawyers for many reasons now in my life, and need your help bringing awareness to just how bad suicide is, and how you can overcome it.  I've overcome it through knowing that my life has more value and that I have a greatness in me that I wish to be able to one day give, and give more of myself to be able to see people made whole, and made to be as happy and ecstatic as one should be.  You deserve to feel free.  You deserve to feel alive and greatness, and you deserve to feel happy.  You have greatness within you, so NEVER STOP CHASING DREAMS.  Help me spread suicide awareness to people so that they know, life doesn't have to be this ridiculous. 

Fourth Questions:  Where do you go when no one in this system cares and instead of it helping you it starts to feel more like systematic ruin, sabotage, covert harassment, and even people planting the thought of suicide into you, and evil entering your life? What would you do?  Where would you go?  And, who do you turn to for help?  HELP ME PLEASE!?  HELP!

I just want you to hit the 'upvote' button and 're-steem' my efforts here to make people aware of how hard it gets in life.  Will you share my message? Please?  Please will you care enough to share this message over onto your facebook wall?  Your twitter feed?  Google+ and anywhere else that you can to spread awareness?  This is my life, and many others who are dying from suicide.  Every 3 seconds, someone is taking their life.  Will you help me stop this cycle from repeating itself?  Help me bring awareness to people so they know that they are worth more?  Help me in my fight for life!?  Every LIFE matters!  Every LIFE counts.

I just want to be able to share my love for many others more then I'm able to on this earth today, so, will you help me spread awareness?  People are hurting in ways I know needs to stop.  Please help by sharing my story here. HIT LIKE, AND SHARE PUBLICLY. THANKS.