NOTE: I must say that I don't consider myself an expert on the subject, in fact, I am now finishing my university studies in psychology, so I can be limited in some clarifications. Therefore, I ask that you read with responsibility and criticism, this isn't a manual or guide. I will try to write something as short as possible for message to be clear, with this I don't try to reduce human complexity, but I think it's enough to call for reflection and discussion. Thank you very much for understanding, and finally, let's face the arguments.
After thinking about it for a long time, I decided to write about this topic. It may be hard for some (and perhaps too much to be one of my first posts to this blog) I somehow feel the moral duty to talk about it. As well as I need to express and denounce something that must be more analyzed by society in our times, because mental health is something that should de taken seriously.
I've noticed that there is many more people who have suicidal thoughts or have had them in the past than we want to think. It costs us a lot to see others suffering, because it reminds us of our own. It is easier to ignore it and even to interpret it as something banal than to think as something serious, so we have passed or could pass. But no, suicidal thoughts and other demonstrations of suffering are never right, and we should not think they're normal.
With this I'm not saying that suicidal ideation only occurs in people with disabilities. Quite many of those who suffer are the same as us, dealing with situations that go beyond what they can endure, and that means they need help. While they may have some condition that facilitates these thoughts, they should NEVER be seen as "abnormal".
Ignore other suffering isn't a way to help, because sooner or later it will be noticed, and probably through unpleasant events. It's also not useful to belittle what is going on, because it will only make them feel incapacitated, weak, or even than they deserve the pain they're going through. In most cases they end up isolating in their own suffering, making it much more difficult to find an exit that doesn't involve to damage themselves.
So if you know someone who is going through a moment that could be hard for him, please try to understand it. Do not use humor to make them feel better, or try to make them feel better by ignoring the problem. One of the things that can help is to make the pain come out, which allows this person to express himself. The feeling of not being able to show what they are really feeling only feeds the discomfort, so the simple fact of speaking freely reduces the strength of these ideas.
We all feel sad or scared sometimes, and you know what the fear of sadness feels like. Probably the only thing you want in that moments is someone who comforts you. There is nothing like the fact that someone remember how good you are, the positive things you have achieved and that this, like other moments, will not last forever. Besides, it's always good to let the other know that you appreciate it.
So do not fear, connecting with your pain is the best way to know how to treat your loved ones. This along with a little patience can make you the best friend, partner or relative. And if you are the one who is going through this, do not despair, I know that you' ll feel better soon. Take some time, breathe deeply, talk to someone you trust and please, if you continue with these ideas try to go to professional help. No, there's nothing wrong with that, you're no weirdo. Accept it is an act of courage, even more if you want to improve yourself. You're great just for going through this, even if you can not see it now.
Take care!
-Michele Lietaert.
Ps: My English is far from perfect, so sorry for my chaotic grammar.