For a minority of LGBT, coming out is not arduous. They have an open, loving support system that embraces them, regardless of sexuality. Unfortunately, the majority of LGBT suffer a lot of emotional strife when coming out. Even, when LGBT embrace and celebrate their sexuality, the fear of witch hunts and harassment are real. Three hundred gay kids take their life every year. All of these kids end their life because they’re very depressed. It’s one thing to be depressed but to hide your depression is torturous. What can we do to change that?
Years ago, I suspected that one of my colleagues was in the closet when I worked as a game supervisor for a men’s recreational adult hockey league. A few of my coworkers suspected that my colleague was gay. We all liked my colleague. He was fair, professional, polite and an extraordinary referee. Being an incompetent referee would merit the ire of a witch hunt more than concealing your homosexuality.
People who have never played sports will never understand the special bond that cements athletes. That bond also extends to the officiating crew. I worked in food factories, distress centers, call centers, and film sets. I have met so many wonderful and not so wonderful people while working but the only people that I keep in touch with are the officials. You will never meet more honest, friendlier and funnier people than hockey refs. Our bond went beyond the rink. Even when we crossed paths outside the rink, it was customary to acknowledge and chat with your coworker. I can’t recall each encounter I had with a coworker outside the rink but I do remember one particular encounter where I was snubbed by a colleague at a coffee shop.
The snub was not a result of any work related conflict because there were never any grievances between us. He gazed at me and I noticed him when he sauntered inside the coffee shop. Even though he noticed me, he didn’t he acknowledge me. I thought that was odd. Then, I saw another man, next to my work colleague. The other man dressed in an overcoat, stroked my colleague’s arm affectionately. I never told anybody about that day. Me and my colleague never discussed that day.
Everyone has a right to privacy. I empathize with the hardships of coming out in sports. My gay friend concealed his homosexuality when he played hockey. I addressed his hardships in my script called Highway 401.
Last season in Italy's top flight soccer league , Napoli coach Maurzio Sarri called Inter Milan coach “a p**f and a f****t” during their Italian league cup soccer match. Retired LA GALAXY football star, Robbie Rogers concealed his homosexuality because “In football it’s obviously impossible to come out — because no-one has done it. No one. It’s crazy and sad. I thought: ‘Why don’t I step away and deal with this and my family and be happy?”
If my colleague came out, he would have been the 1st openly gay referee on staff. He probably feared that he would be targeted by the staff and the players. He probably didn’t want to be thought of as “THE GAY REF.” He has a right to privacy.
Recently, I watched a documentary about gays in the US Military called “The Strange History of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.” The movie was about gays being banned from serving openly in the military. The US government passed legislation called “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” A psychiatrist named Charlie Moskos led the charge by claiming that “homoerotic tendencies exist in all male sub groups. A stiff ban (pardon the pun) will be in place because when these homo-erotics are out, you have negative effects on unit cohesion.”
Unit cohesion was a term invented to justify homophobia in the military. Basically, gays can serve in the military but they can’t serve openly. If they’re outed, they will get kicked out of the army. People always ask questions about your personal life. It’s impossible to hide your sexuality and details of your personal life.
The RAND study in 1993 (RAND is a think tank created by the US Air force) revealed that homosexuals can serve openly and it would not affect unit cohesion. Gays can do the job of a straight person. At that time twenty three countries including Great Britainallowed gays to serve openly but not the US. President Obama successfully repealed the “Don’t ask don’t tell” legislation.
Homophobia is still rampant even though LBGT have made enormous strides towards equality. Three hundred gay kids still take their life every year. Let’s examine the original question: What can we do to change that?
I think comedian Rick Mercer has the answer:
“It’s no longer good enough to tell kids, that it’s gonna get better. We have to make it better now. Every single one of us. Every teacher, every student, every adult has to step up to the plate and that’s gay adults too! Because I know gay cops, soldiers, athletes, cabinet ministers; a lot of us do, but the problem is; as adults, we don’t need role models, kids do. If you’re gay and in the public life, I am sorry. You don’t have to run around with a pride flag and bore the hell out of everyone but you can’t be invisible, not anymore. 300 kids is 300 too many!”
To my gay colleague. The hockey arena isn’t the military. Step up!