The first few weeks that I stayed at home with my kid were very hard for me. After a few weeks of staying at home with a my kid, I understood that I need to change many things to be more efficient.
It is really a challenging job, to be a parent. From now on I can say it like hundred times, I RESPECT those moms who stay at home and do all those things, plus the cleaning and cooking. Now I understand that going to work it is like a walk in a park -- EASY. You just go and do your job, its nothing compared to be a parent.
Physical work is not the problem. That's only part of it. The main difference is that you can concentrate on one thing and execute it. But when you stay at home, it is nearly impossible to concentrate on anything except the kid. So your brain uses a lot of energy to just stay focused on things you would normally do automatically.
So this led me to a thought. I have to change the way I think about things. I have to change to make my life easier and happier. But with what i would need to start? Here I had a big advantage, as I have been in self-development for about 2 years. For me it was easy to identify problems and find solutions.
I found out that 3 main things should be changed for me, to make my life easier, and those things are:
Changing Mindset.
Time Organization.
The way you valuate things.
Change Mindset you have. This is, especially, needed for parents who are more in a fixed mindset. If you are willing to know how to determine what mindset you are and how you can benefit from it write me in a comment, and if it will be interested ill make a post about it. To be honest there is no exact formula for, how to succeed in parenting. If there would be one, we would be androids, but I must say, it is much easier being a parent if you have growth mindset.
Growth mindset, gives you ability to develop and adapt to changes much more easier. And as I see it, it is very helpful, as you are developing a new person. And the chances that he will be as you have planned are less than 0.00001 %. There is much more zeros, just don’t want to flood the post. The way you were raised, will not always work with your kid. We are living in different time, so you will need to adapt.
My kid is always developing and changing. Every day he likes new things, and starts to dislike others. So my main objective is to give the best quality I can think of. I am not saying about best toys and expensive gadgets, but I am talking about the things and skills you can teach him. The main thing I had to realize, that I don’t need to give him the best and most expensive things, but I need to teach him as many things I can, so he have some advantage in his life and have the skills to earn those expensive things by himself.
Time management have to be adapted. This is very important, for many people, the same as me, as I am one of those people, who is leaving most of the stuff for tomorrow. With kid, this style of your time management, doesn’t work really well. And there is no really possibility to go around this one.
First, you will need to make a strict schedule. Not only for your kid, but for you also. It will help, your kid to prepare for kindergarten, and it will benefit you both, as you will eat and sleep in the same time. Your kids and yours body will be hungry in sleepy in the same time, so in long-term you will see very big benefit in it. And it will be much less stressful.
Second, You will need to do things simultaneously or you can say in different orders, as you were used before. As I was saying in last post, about my first day being full-time dad, You should start cooking before changing diaper, as it will save you time. There are more of those situations when you can save much time. So use it, it really helps.
You should reconsider your original valuation to things in your life. For some people it comes very easy but for some people it takes some work. For me it was most important change I had to make. When I become a father, I had to make a choice. Value things the same I was doing it before, or change it, because now I have a son, and should i adjust to it. This choice is no given to you like two roads before you, and you have to chose were to go, it is not even there, most of the people see it only when children are grown up. And usually it is too late.
Now I can say that I have made wrong choices at the beginning. As I have valuated work and money as the most valuated things for me. It sounds bad, but I have seen for most of people it is the same. When I I became full-time father, I have reevaluated those, and understood that was very stupid from me. Now I really see, that my family is most important, and no money will buy you this happiness. You can think that it is like very easy choice, but in reality is very difficult to identify it.
This way of thinking, gave me a chance of learn new money making fields, now I see many more ways of getting money, and I it would take much less time from my time spent with my beautiful family. One of them i hope will become steemit. :)
I must say, that these changes are not so easy to implement, as it takes some working with yourself. The most difficult part here, I can mention, is to truly speak with yourself, and if you see that you have done something wrong, accept it as it is. It is very hard for any person to accept the fact, that he is incorrect. For me it was easy choice as I see the reward you get. For me these worked and now i am gaining happiness only by being around my family.
To be continued….
