I am a man of extreme nature , i have done some crazy things , some good some bad , im going to open up and go real deep into my most intimate feelings , situations, choices and individuals i have met along my road . you will get to know me unfiltered . every other day i will post a situation , choice , or feeling from the most intimate , powerful, or other extreem situation from my life. i am 32 years of age but i will jump in time . my first post will be about :
The battle of good and evil
I wake up on the soffa in a apartment in downtown linköping sweden with my heart in pain from loosing my wife, bad credit and no where to live . i had been homeless for 3 months sleeping at friends houses.
my friend is around thirty years of age and into doing drugs drinking and other realitievading stuff. he has been over to some other junkies house and brought home some Lsd. he took 1 dos of it on the way over to his place. there where five doses left and i was in a deep depretion ,and really wanted to escape reality . so i took 3 doses at once. now im getting to the intresting part . after about 40 min or so i go into the toilet and look in the mirror , my face morphed younger and younger and i saw the road all the way back to the present time in the mirror , than back to a young kids age and a nother road and other choices and saw how i would have looked if i had chosen those paths to the present time in the toilet. and i looked better , more alive more healthy . still in the mirror i se myself getting older , turning into a old junkie wrinkled up no teeth and sores in my face until death . back to the mirror and present time. getting a feeling of to much intensity i look away, down at my hands and feeling of beeing in the past ,present and future at the same time . all the sudden i get microscopic vision , i zoom in on my hand and beyond . im now seeing the molycules protons neutrons spinning aound eachother linked by nothing , butt still holding together a massive energy that is my hand . i look upp at the wall and zoom in to the molycules and se the truth . that its just small balls rotating around eachother . the tripp is really comming on by now. i walk over to the bed lie down , and my body dies . butt awareness still alive over my dead body looking at me thrue the eyes of me with no ego . darkness creeps twards my body down from the walls like a moist smoke of nothingness, a dark awareness cumming for the energy that is my body. me a light of energi feel that i cannot let the darkness take what belongs to me.
i create with my positive power a garden of flowers in the room , but the darkness goes over them and the die and loose their color . im now fighting the darkness and know that if i loose this fight i will never get my body back and it will be gone forever. but the dark evilness is to strong and i am loosing light and the room is getting darker . i create a peace dove flying with good energy twards my body and the darkness forms into a demon of dark shadow and rips it apart into the darkness . almost all is dark now and my body is getting sarounded by the dark smokey mist of evil energi . i create friuts , apples , oranges , grapes etc . the friuts rot fast in front of my awerness. i have lost my body , and now the darkness has sarounded the mind of me . my mind is getting darker. thaughts stop , cant think of anything that can stand up to this evil.
then in deep medition the last peace of light weak small . i focus only on the light to grow . no other thaoughts just creating more mass to the light . the darkness tries but the light will not give for darkness . slowly retreating from me then my body . than the walls, then gone of feeling and thought. i reunite with my fysical and awake from the jurney i had witnesst , stronger , un afraid . nothing can stop me now , nothing can frighten me now . i have fought evil in a battle that could not be mesured in time and won !!!! nothing can stop me now . i can achieve anything . that was when i let go of fear .