We got married a week ago, Mark is the man of my life, I love him so much, I am so happy by his side, how nice it is to feel this way in love with someone, I guess this is what they call "for a lifetime".
Today is our first month of anniversary, we went to celebrate it, I wanted to wear the black dress that I bought last week for this occasion but he doesn't like it, he says it's very revealing, he doesn't want other men to see me. So beautiful my husband is jealous, that's good, it means he loves me very much.
It's the seventh month since we got married, I quit my job because Mark says I don't need to be distracted from household issues because he wants us to have children, that a woman's most important job is to take care of the home, her husband and her children. I didn't know what he thought like that, he never told me when we were dating, but I guess it's because my Mark has traditional values, maybe he understands that I need to work, I struggled a lot to get to the place where I am, I will tell him tactfully, he will surely understand .
We had an intense discussion, our first fight, Mark doesn't want me to work in the company anymore, he's jealous of my coworkers, he even hit my face, then he told me he didn't want to do it, that he was obfuscated, won't happen again. I think so, I know he won't do it again, I can't go to work today, I don't want to see the wound under my right eye.
Year and a half of having married and I feel that Mark is not the same tender and loving man I married. Every night he returns, smelling of alcohol, with anger in his eyes. Since he was fired from his second job he becomes more aggressive and ends up irritable, as if waiting for any detail to unload his anger against me. If the dinner is very cold, it bothers me and throws it in my face, if it is very hot it makes me eat it by force, I do not understand why it is so with me if I love it so much. I don't want to quit, he will surely change when he gets a job again, he told me, he's just tense, I know he really loves me very much.
Two years have passed since we got married, it is getting worse, it constantly aggravates me, when it doesn't yell at me or insults me it hits me. I don't want to be visited, I don't know what excuse to justify every wound on my body or every blow on my face. We don't make love anymore, I don't want it either, it hurts a lot when it forces me to have sex with him. I would like to leave it but I am afraid of it, I have no friends where to go, I still cannot go out because I am pregnant. Maybe when I see our daughter will change, she will be that tender man I married again. I know that he loves me.
4 years of marriage and we seem strangers, he only gives himself to alcohol and football, he doesn't even take care of the girl, he tells me that he doesn't do what he orders, "just like his mother". I would like to run away from this hell with my daughter, but I can't, I don't know where to go. I don't have a job, I don't have my family with me, don't let me talk to anyone. I am of his total possession .... but he loves me.
Carlos D. Pérez Guerrero.