What has held me back from embracing this change? Old patterns that I have neglected to get rid of, innessential issues I give too much attention to, and old mistakes that I don't want to face up to. All of the things that I carry on my back, the situations and people I keep focusing in despite knowing better. I refuse to change because it would mean saying goodbye to things that meant so much to me... or at least that's what I believe. But change is constant, and unavoidable; and I may find myself going through it kicking and screaming, but I will go through it. (THE TOWER)
How can I deal with this more productively? Recognizing that all those binds, fetters and obligations are not mine: not mine to solve, not mine to fix and above all, not mine to worry about. Some passed so long ago they are already rendered moot by life; others either have been imposed on me by others or (far more frequently) I have taken from them even when I shouldn't have. It's time I do a reality check of what my real problems are, and ground myself in the knowledge that everyone else either can wait or can fuck off. Sometimes the only way to win is to walk away and let things happen; sometimes you find out the fight wasn't worth your time. (8 OF SWORDS)
