Pretend with me -- just for a few minutes -- that you are seated in a small church somewhere in the Deep South, listening to a fire-and-brimstone country preacher bringing it on a topic you've never heard anyone dare to preach before.
Although he may not be a polished orator, and though he may only exist in my imagination, I love this preacher; he knows right from wrong, and he pulls no punches when calling on the congregation to do what's right.
Hear the preacher's powerful voice now, rolling over the congregation; just close your eyes and listen intently as Brother Love thunders forth on a deeply forbidden topic...
"Mah deah Brothahs and Sistas, sit back, fasten yo' seat-belts, and prepare fo' yo' fust ever, pulpit-poundin'
Sermon Against Income Tax Withholding!!!
Photo courtesy of Harry Miller and http://unsplash.com
Good Mornin', Mah Brothas and Sistas!
(Good Mo'nin', Brotha Love!)
We all know, don't we now, that God, I say, The LORD GOD Hisself, says “Thou Shalt Not Steal!” We all surely do know that, don't we? Can I get an Amen?
(Amen!!)
And we know how much the guv'mnt just hates competition!
(Murmers and laughter from the congregation).
But didn't our blessed Lord Jesus say, “The workman is worthy of his hire?”
("That's right." "Yes, yes, He did.")
Now, I axe you, and I want you to hear me now; did He say
“The guv'mnt is worthy?”
("No." "Oh, no!")
No? Is that what He said? NO?
NO, that ain't what He said at all, is it! (Brother Love pauses for a deep breath.)
JESUS said it was the WORKMAN, not the guv'mnt, who is worthy, Amen?
(AMEN!!)
Even Moses, that mighty man of GOD, who led the children of Israel for fo'ty years through the barren desert wilderness, I say, Moses, he said “take some o' the fust of all the produce… set it befo' the LORD yo' God, and worship.”
Now I axe you good folk, did Brotha Moses say
“Set it befo' the IRS?”
("No." "No." "NO.")
No, he did not!
Did he say
“Take the last o' the produce?”
("Unh-uh, preacher" "No" "NO." "no.")
No, No, NO, he did not!
Now, I can just about hear you thinkin';
“Preacher Man, How can I give the LORD the fust o' my produce? My Boss Man, he take' money out muh pay befo' I even sees it, and he give' it to the guv'mnt!”
I hear you, Brothas and Sistas! And I reply, listen to what the LORD be sayin' to yo' Boss Man:
"Behold, the PAY of the laborers who mowed yo' fields, and which has been withheld by you, cries out against you; and the outcry of those who did the harvesting has reached the ears of the Lord of hosts."
My Brothas and Sistas, the LORD is listening!
("Amen" "Hallelujah!")
He sees what's goin' on.
(Amen!)
He hears yo' cries.
(AMEN!!)
Tell me now, don't you s'pose yo' Boss Man ought to be listenin' to the LORD?
("Amen" "Yes" "YES!")
"But," you may be wonderin' about now, “don't I owe the guv'mnt some o' dat money?”
Child, maybe you does, maybe you doesn't... but, hear me now, Child, whether you does or whether you don't, it makes no never-mind!
That money ain't your Boss's money, is it Child? It's NOT his money to mess with, it's YO' money! (Reverend Love SLAMS his hand down on the pulpit.)
("That's right." "It's true, it's true." "Amen, preach it brotha!")
If you done owe anythin' to the I. R. S., that's between you and the guv'mnt, ain't it now?!
("Amen" "Yes" "Preach it!")
Photo courtesy of William White and http://unsplash.com
And don't none of all y'all Bosses try to excuse yo'selves now!
(Brother Love steps out from behind the pulpit, a stern look on his face.)
You say the guv'mnt makes you withhold? Is that what y'all be thinkin' now?
(Murmers from the congregation).
Let me axe you this, what did the Apostles say? Tell me now:
WHAT. Ex-Act-ly. DID. THEY. SAY?
(More murmers from the congregation).
I'll tell you what they said! The apostles said:
“We must obey God rather than men.”
Do you hear me? Can I get an Amen?
(Amen!!)
And so, Repent, thats what I have to say!
("Amen" "Repent!" "Amen, preacher")
Put the LORD fust, quit all y'all withholdin', and give yo' workers all o' they pay! The LORD, let Him worry about the I. R. S., Amen?
("Amen" "Hallelujah!" "Praise the LORD!")
Now, let us PRAY!
And let us just leave that there PREY-ing to the guv'mnt!
NOTE: I've updated, expanded, and dramatized this post from a piece I wrote about eight years ago.