If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, you can head over to his well-written, researched, and comedic post here, but as a god loving, gun toting, flag flying ‘Merican I can’t stand by no longer and see our woman taken by the likes of Hugh Jackman.
I mean come on; if you’re going to write a post about great Australian men that have invaded the hearts of America you could have at least included the greatest, best looking, and bravest of all Steve Irwin.
The trail blazer who paved the way into our TVs with his passion for animals, teaching, and the great outdoors. I mean the dude took a spear to the heart doing what he loved. Nothing but mad respect and props to the man that helped shape my childhood growing up. Admittedly, this guy alone had more testosterone then all of California put together.
I don’t know how we let some of those Aussies slip in these films. It might have been the fact they have the bodies of Greek gods, a stare that can see into a man’s soul, or those beautiful blonde locks slips off into a day dream … O wait I’m back.
None of those men compare to these American heroes I’m about to share with you Aussies. Prepare for a testosterone overload.
The first candidate is Nick “Ron Swanson” Offerman. This man is a god fearing, government hating, libertarian, and embodies all that is great in America. He also loves meat and breakfast, hates vegetables, fishing, and he does what he wants.
Famous quotes include:
Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.
Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.
Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.
I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food.
I call this turf ‘n’ turf. It’s a 16 oz. T-bone and a 24 oz porterhouse. Also, whisky and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I’m a free American
My hero.
The second candidate Is Michael “Mike” Gregory Rowe and this man is doing God’s/America's work. He’s doing his best to bring the “man” jobs back to the US. This guy makes a living by talking to down home Americans, getting dirty, working his butt off, and living the American dream.
Mike Rowe is not afraid to sweat for a pay check day in and day out, unlike your pretty boys that have snuck their way into the US.
Dirt used to be a badge of honor. Dirt used to look like work. But we've scrubbed the dirt off the face of work, and consequently we've created this suspicion of anything that's too dirty.
I think a trillion dollars of student loans and a massive skills gap are precisely what happens to a society that actively promotes one form of education as the best course for the most people. I think the stigmas and stereotypes that keep so many people from pursuing a truly useful skill; begin with the mistaken belief that a four-year degree is somehow superior to all other forms of learning.
This man is rebuilding America one sissy at a time.
The next person being nominated, I’ll just let the facts speak for themselves as he needs no introduction.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It’s called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, and then it exploded.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade you’ve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
I could go on for a while, but I’ll stop here.
Honorable mention is Si Robertson. If you haven’t seen Duck Dynasty than go watch it and be prepared to laugh non-stop watching these millionaire Cajuns who hunt, fish, blow-up stuff, and love their families.
Honorable mention #2 Perry Cox. Cause Scrubs.
Now don't get me wrong 