Well I was dreaming of something. I can't remember what it was. Perhaps I was storming a medieval castle on horse back. Perhaps I was on one of the Apollo missions slingshotting for the moon. It's inconsequential what I was up to. The fact is that a buzzing sound; one that didn't fit with the context of my dream, woke me.
hearing care guide
No surprise really. A fly had flown into my ear canal and decided that that was the best place to spend Christmas eve. Well, let me tell you I'm an old hand at this. I nearly lost control of the parts you don't want to lose control of a while back when a full sized flying cockroach crawled into my ear when sleeping.
That
Was
Pure
Hell.
I later learned that ambulance crews sometimes find people on the brink of insanity, clawing themselves bloody trying to free themselves of the roach in their head.
In my case the roach made all the roachy noises you'd expect and I could hear and feel him crawl so deep into my ear, he felt a part of my soul.
Luckily my wife had recently completed a first aid course where this exact topic had come up. Oil. Cooking oil is your saviour. Pouring it in the ear killed the roach and allowed me to flick it free of my ear.
So back to the fly this morning. We're camping at the moment so no oil was at hand. Comically my wife got woken up sharply with me screaming
CODE 3!!! WE'VE GOT ANOTHER CODE 3!!!
...and she had to run through the camping grounds seeing if anyone was yet awake to ask for oil. She returned promply and poured it in my ear. The fly would have perished, yet no body was retrieved. I spent a while with my left ear facing the ground with the hope it would come out... but nothing.
Now a fly is smaller than a roach so it's possible he came out without us noticing, but over 13 hours later he could still be in there.
If you ever find yourself with nature inside your head...
- Stay calm
- Pour oil in the ear
- Point ear towards ground
- Do not put anything in the ear to prod the intruder
- Use discomfort and pain as a guide to determine whether a trip to hospital is required.
My hearing and balance are fine and I have only slight irritation from the oil so I'm betting the little bugger is gone. Fingers crossed!
Stay safe out there. I'll be sleeping with a bucket over my head tonight. I dont know why my ears are such insect magnets. Just lucky I guess!