Ever had one of those days when it all went wrong? Today was one of those days. I'd like to say it started with this guy, but it didn't (he looks innocent doesn't he? Well read on, dear reader, I assure you, he is the spawn of satan or something).
It started before that. It started with torrential rain (from a passing Typhoon no less!) and generally went downhill from there. I commute to the office by bus and use a card (like an oyster card) to pay the fare. Today the card decided to run out of credit. A-ha, I hear you say, Thinknzombie fails again (and has poor financial management skills), but no...the card is linked to a credit card which is linked to a savings account and is meant to automatically recharge. But did it? Nyet. Turns out, it only recharges when used on the train. None of which the bus driver could be bothered explaining this morning when he grunted single syllable nonsense at me instead of speaking Japanese like a normal person. Welcome to Wednesday!
I ride the bus to the office silently seething but feeling okay because today is Wednesday and I have a plan. Today I will leave the office early. A more awesome plan has never been planned and I, I think to myself, am just the person to execute it...or so I think.
Getting off the bus, I figure I can recharge the card at the railway station (the bus pulls up just in front of it). So I jump off, go to the station and speak to the staff manning the ticket gate. He takes one look at the card and says, "Not one of ours," makes an unhappy face (like a cat's butt after it tries to pass a half-digested chili) and hands the card back.
"Perhaps if I touch it on the gate and then come back out it will auto-recharge?" I suggest.
"Sure," he says, in a grunt that was in no way inferior to the technique used not 20 or so minutes earlier by the bus driver.
Thinking I'd finally made some progress, I turn around to see a great bloody line behind me (ask about that one day), all of whom are queuing to go into the station. To execute my cunning plan I would have to line up, go through the gate and then talk to cat-butt face the station staff to exit again.
Tail between my legs, I give up and walk out into the (now pouring) rain to head to the office. And that, dear reader, is how it started.
Cutting to the end of this harrowing tale of bravery, cunning and general...well basically failure to win on any level at all on my part, I was approaching the time I had chosen to leave the office. All was going well. I'd cleaned and polished my pocket protector, sharpened my sharpie, wiped my hard drive and was scooting towards the door when I made what would not (unfortunately) be my first rookie mistake of the day. There, right in front of me was one of my clients.
Did I quickly redirect the client's attention by pointing behind him at an imaginary bunyip while silently mouthing "Oh. My. God"? I wish I had. Instead I smiled, nodded and dealt with the issue.
"All good," I think. I can still make it out, only slightly later than planned. I can come back from this. But then it happened. The Director walks by. Here again, I would like to say that I carefully avoided eye contact, ducked, rolled, shouted "Fire!" or (and I'm not proud of this one) pretended like I was on an invisible staircase and walked down out of sight under the desk. Nope. Again I smiled.
"Got a few minutes?" she asks.
"Sure," I heard myself say. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
And that, dear reader, is what you should not do. Now let that be a lesson to you.
So I find myself leaving far later than planned, walking into the dark, rain-filled night. A thousand regrets floating through my mind and a message on repeat: Thank God It's Friday. Then I realize, it's still only Wednesday.
Hope yours was better than mine!