Hello everyone! I am called once again to help a friend
. Our friend in #teamgirlpowa discord chat is calling for your help, you can either upvote this post or directly send your SBD to
Dear my pregnant friend,
When you announced your wonderful news, I hope my discomfort didn’t offend you. I hope you didn’t get distracted by the tear that escaped from the corner of my eye. I’m sorry that I momentarily let my mask fall.
You see, and this is hard to explain, but I am so very happy for you...and yet so incredibly sad for me.
I don’t mean to sound selfish nor do I wish to take away from your joy, I want you to enjoy every second of your miracle and relish every milestone ahead of you. I am rooting for you and cheering you on.
Someday when I feel strong. I will log on to your social media so I can see how you are doing, so I can smile at that ‘glow’ every pregnant woman has. But on my weak days I will avoid you, I will not make eye contact because I am terrified you will see the jealousy that lies beneath the surface. I wish it was me. And I feel guilty for feeling that.
The truly crazy thing is that this won’t change if or when I do fall pregnant again. For I know that the moment you got that positive test you were filled with hope and joy, I remember how amazing that feels...I felt that, right before i was brought crashing back down to earth and the hope was snatched cruelly from me. Now when I get that positive test I will feel anxiety and fear. I will not walk into a scan with a smile.
You are pregnant and preparing for a baby, I will be preparing for a loss. So please, please know that I want you to be happy. I want you to be able to complain about the symptoms you are experiencing and you’re aching back, I don’t want you to stop seeing me completely. I just want you to understand I may distance myself at times...but no matter how distant I am, know I want more than anything for you to be blissfully happy.
A mother of an angel and a friend.
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