This morning we woke up to the shouts and wails of neighbours. One needs no prophet to tell a sad incident had occurred. My inquisitive mind propelled me into action as I ran out of the house towards the direction of the sad cries. Fortunately, they were not crying out of sadness but for saving a man who almost took his own life this early morning.
Sometime ago, It makes me wonder why on earth someone would want to just give up on life and decide to take his or her own life. I saw it as foolishness and mental disorientation not until recently. Not too long ago I found myself in a strange place, a dark place like an abyss and although I couldn't comprehend it, I knew all was not well. I was filled with hopelessness and despair. I lost interest in the usual things that interested me, I sought solitude and sleep became my new found friend. One surf of the symptoms of depression got me fully aware of what was going on and I realised I needed help.
Sadly, not many people are opportune to figure it out. Perhaps if I didn't seek to understand what was wrong with me, I wouldn't have known I needed help. Suicidal thoughts do not just creep in on us, it creeps in slowly, bidding it's time with each passing day of wallowing in solitude and self guilt. It starts from the feeling of lack of self worth. Looking around, the society is filled with smiling faces and it feels like all is well with them, like those people do not have underlining problems. We see others as happier, goal oriented, desired, rich, and see ourselves as failures, regrets, undesired.
When people talk in hushed tones, we believe they are talking about us. When they laugh, it feels like they are laughing at us. You see yourself as such a disappointment and then the thoughts of why are you still living plays on your mind. Death suddenly seems so appealing but death is never a way of escape. Death is a journey to an unknown.
Life had taught me that you alone are the architect of your own happiness. You alone can make others believe in you but you must first believe in yourself. Falling several times has never made anyone a failure, staying fallen is what makes one a failure and a loser. You can always pull yourself up when you fall and try again. Do not allow the society deceive you, things are not always what they seem. "After the rain, comes the shine". They say the time before dawn is always the darkest.
Endure!
Persevere!
It won't always be victory but definitely would be a "victory", if you desire to live.