This story took me several months to decide share and really pen out every single details from beginning to the end to share along this journey. It really took sleepless nights upon sleepless nights, stress upon stress , tears upon tears because throughout the whole process of just telling myself that it’s ok to be like that, it’s ok to just pen down every single moment and just share it out.
On January 21st 2017 , I got into a relationship with a guy name Edward. He was 26 last year, this year 27 years. We fought , we broke up , got back together , broke up, got back together and the list truly goes on non stop and I am not gonna lie but be truthful throughout that whole entire process the pain during those breakups was just haunting. I couldn’t control my emotions. He couldn’t control his emotions and as days goes by it became more and more toxic.
Not going to lie , he was a very good guy. Someone who cared , someone who loved the Lord yet he had flaws , I mean we all have flaws that are meant to be put into practice , grow. It’s ok to fail and get back up again. It takes effort to change. However for him, I don’t blame him with the way he was brought up, parents not having much financial, having parents that don’t really pay much attention to him. The one thing about him is that, he had past that was hard for him to let go therefore every time we fought , it truly gets beyond ugly. It was hard for him to agree and it’s was hard for me to agree. Tho it was toxic , we were close. He couldn’t handle the rejection and the letting go part.
With that kind of attitude he tends to put his emotions beyond everything and that somehow cause this relationship to flourishing to ugly.
Fast forward , just 4 months ago with how just a friendship after the break up because extremely toxic. Meets up with him was just plain diff. Things took a huge turn. I told him that even being friends is a big NO. That no matter what the future holds, friendship is still a no. I can still clearly remember his face that moment I said that. Oh and I am not someone who can so easily call off a friendship because it was toxic. I’ve decided that it was really a time for me and a season and a season to really let go and say goodbye as a close friend to him. To move on with my life and move forward.
I remember his face being so angry in McDonald’s. Yes I wanted to eat McDonald because I was just really depressed with life. He was furious , furious to the point , he stood up, came towards me ( as in to my chair ) and gave me a big tight slap on my face in front of everyone. I didn’t cry, I just stood up and walk away. That was the end.
From that day , my eyes open wide. I just couldn’t imagine that could ever happen to me.
Ladies , never let a man or your husband slap you in the face. No woman should ever have to go through such a thing. It’s not right.
I am still recovering from that day and just getting myself back up together filled with sleepless night and just mood swings. Heartbroken. One thing i have learn from this whole drama is that choose to spend time pursuing relationships that challenge you to grow in your relationship with God and make good choices. To be honest, through this whole entire process, I find myself more stronger not with my own might but only with the Lord. Sometimes the best is yet to come when the old has to go.
“ Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” – 1 Corinthians 15:33 “
Although it has change my point of view of relationship. I told God, I surrender and His will be done.
The only love that can satisfy my heart is Jesus :)
