Hi Steemians, I'm new here and was introduced to this awesome platform by my good buddy Maverick Foo (who’s an awesome writer by the way, checkout his posts) and thought that my very first post here would kinda be a public service one about quitting smoking.
I was a smoker for about 30 years until I quit about 3 years ago. Started cos I was really nerdy then (still am, ask my kids) and I wanted to change my image so that I would look cool and be a badass.
Oh, how life’s one big irony cos in my later years as a smoker I would feel sheepish and kinda foolish and definitely not cool or badass when smoking at designated smoking areas cos the folks that walk by would give me that pitiful look, that I can’t help myself, that I’m doomed to a life of tobacco addiction. (Nod, if you’ve ever felt a bit of that)
That was reason enough for me decide to quit smoking, that and other reasons like smoker’s breath, crappy health, family concerns, feeling anxious every time there’s a long journey ahead and knowing that you can’t smoke on that journey and the list goes on.
As a result, I attempted to quit a total of 5 times! (I know some of you folks out there can relate as well), with the 5th time finally succeeding in quitting for good.
• Why did the 5th time work?
• Why did the previous attempts fail?
• What changed?
Well, in a nutshell, Mindset.
I was in a spiritual seminar, which had nothing to do with quitting smokes (I’d say I'm spiritual but not particularly religious although I’m a Catholic. Ironically that sounded almost like a confession in itself, LOL). This seminar saw me embark on a journey within. A journey of self-discovery.
I found out in that journey, what love truly means when I discovered the true meaning of self-love. I was in denial all along, outwardly projecting an image of a confident person but inwardly constantly questioning my own self-worth.
Loving oneself means acknowledging that one is truly worth it and that it’s OK to be flawed. How others perceive us has got nothing to do with our own perception of self. What others think of us is not our reality.
What we think is our own reality. Therefore, our own love for ourselves is the most precious of all. No matter how much anyone loves us, we can only love them back as much as we love ourselves.
And by fully embracing this philosophy, I became aware that I didn’t need to smoke to feel good.
That feeling good is a conscious state of mind. Our perception of our own life is what matters the most. If we consciously perceive our life to be good, it will be good, and when bad things do happen, we will still be able to find good in them as well, as long as we perceive life to be good.
What about the previous 4 failed attempts to quit smoking?
On those attempts, I had expected to experience withdrawal symptoms and irritability. True enough, I did experience all of that and more.
It was because I expected it, perceived it and embraced it as reality, even though they were successful attempts at denial, they didn’t last because I would still crave a smoke occasionally and would find it difficult to be around smokers, especially in a bar.
This was a ‘Denial Mindset’. I was denying myself something that I craved for, to pursue a greater good.
Carl Jung was spot on when he said, “What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.”
Now we can rise above that by changing our mindset to one of love, to consciously truly love ourselves and accept that we’re worth it, that we’re really good enough.
That we don’t need to smoke because we’re already feeling good!
That we’re NOT denying ourselves, instead we’re making a conscious choice to understand that we’re already infinitely blessed.