In the last few days, I couldn't even feel my emotions properly. I felt unsettled and I was irritable, easily upset and at times even lost.
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Don't get me wrong. This past year has been awesome in so many ways as I connected with so many lovely souls and soul sisters, new clients, many new possibilities. As well as revitalised and renewed relationships with some wonderful friends and felt so blessed and healed in the process. But there were also difficult relationships, misunderstandings, people who let me down, several life changes that have necessitated major adjustments that haven't exactly been very comfortable.
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The last few days has been a great cleansing of sorts as old feelings and situations had to be re-visited so that they could be released into the Light. In my outer world, my car got a makeover on Christmas Even and we are going through another major bout of spring cleaning in my home. I got to throw away so much stuff, perhaps even some good things that I should have kept but I have been quite ruthless, at least, the way I see it.
I have had a crisis of faith in myself and my journey to be honest. I was wondering how I could even think of helping others, especially other women, when I was feeling like this.
And then this morning Spirit answered. I had actually forgotten that every time before I run a workshop, my world goes through a very good shakeup.
Image from Google
How wonderful it is that we get to teach that which we most need to learn and go through the healing process ourselves first!!! I laugh now as I recall that I was feeling quite cushy thinking I had already gone through this mill before! No doubt Spirit had already been laughing at me going "You have no idea!!"
I know that there is more healing that I need to experience before I run the women's workshop. The deeper lesson is surrendering to the process and to Spirit. And to know that I am greatly supported by Spirit.
On this last day of the year 2017, in my meditation, I received a huge surge of love and I felt great doors opened within my heart. Fears, doubts and all the other bug bears plaguing my days, the last vestiges of the old energy of 2017, ebbed away. I feel joyful, abundant, peaceful, love. To tell you the truth, I am not sure how it happened. I just know that it did. I was even trying to recall the fears that I had just now but it seems like I can't.
Perhaps it is Grace flowing down from above. Amazing and beautiful. I only know that I am in a good place and I am finally ready for 2018.
Image from Google
I am not normally one who believes in New Year Resolutions and I feel they don't normally take and just make you feel bad when you fail .... I will say though that I have a nice to-do list that I am ready to get into.
And so I wish you A Very Happy New Year 2018, filled with beautiful experiences and connections that are real and not just Instagrammable, easy life lessons so you learn what you need to without needing to go through the pain, so much love your heart aches to receive it all, the sweet kindness of strangers, the unstinting support and care of loved ones, great opportunities in business and career to create, innovated grow, fun and laughter every single day, that each day you feel empowered to take inspired action and that you are richly rewarded for all the wonderful things you do and for just being gloriously the best you. And I wish the same for myself ...