I wrote this article ay ear ago sometime in the middle of 2016. I visited Datuk Dayang Mahani at her home in Kota Kinabalu and had the privilege of meeting her family members.
Although born with silver spoon, housemaids, personal driver twenty-four seven and could easily go travelling around the world whenever, wherever she desired, she chose to stay and be mentored by people who saw potentials in her.
Datuk Dayang Mahani Pengiran Ahmad Raffae expressed her pleasure and satisfaction upon realising the dreams to see some of the charity bodies became reality some 30 to 40 years ago. Among those charity organizations she assisted were Red Crescent Society, Persatuan Ambulan Yayasan Sabah (PAYS), Sabah Girl Guides, St. John Ambulance, Scouts, Princess Anne orphanage Home among others.
Her involvement in those charity bodies marked the starting of her ‘career’ where her forte was spotted immediately by those who were close to her in the beginning. It was just the right timing of her participation with the charity bodies when at that time they were in dire needs for expertise and financial assistance in order to carry out their respective mission.
She recalled how Mabel Marcus of Sabah Red Crescent saw her and said it was such a waste of talent if not utilised.
“At that time, I was in my early 20s and just back from abroad upon completing my studies. Since I was free, I agreed to help and never thought that was the beginning of everything,” she shared with much amusement.
“A few people who were pretty much around during my active participation apart from Mabel Marcus were like Tengku Adlin, Safari Manan, Anne Keyworth and a few others. I really learned volunteerism from them. It was all about giving selflessly and those amazing experiences I had were just priceless. Volunteering became my full time job and people around me became my best teachers.
On the other hand, my dad was very protective of me and didn’t let me work for fear of my safety although I was yearning to be on my own. So, I thought by volunteering in this worthy cause would be my ‘passport’ to lead me to get a job elsewhere later on.. emmm, not knowing these were my job (volunteerism). It became part of me.”
“I recalled when I was 16, I almost got kidnapped. This happened in K.K town (then Jesselton) while waiting for my driver who wasn’t around inside the car. I was alone and the car was parked somewhere by the roadside. Suddenly, another car from nowhere stopped and someone just grabbed me and pulled me away. I fought back and shouted. The driver who just happened to come back on time came to my rescue. I was traumatised for a while and so did my father,” she remembered. That explained why her father was selective of her choice of career.
She also shared how she got very interested in cooking when one day she sneaked into the kitchen to see what the cooks were preparing. Her interest was built up seeing the activities taking place in the kitchen. They were all living at the Istana at that time because her father served as the head of state.
Her father, former TYT of Sabah Tun Pengiran Ahmad Raffae was very strict with her and always tried to limit her movement except in the Istana premise.
“My father was too protective of me and didn’t let me go anywhere I like. So was just wandering at the istana. I thought it wasn’t a wise thing to do especially after I came back from abroad.
I always ended up spending a lot of times in the kitchen,” smilingly as she recalled how she was always spotted doing cooking by other staff in the Istana.
“There were times I cooked for my parents and sometimes guests of my father. Eventually my dad found out it was me who did the cooking, he praised me for the delicious food (instead of scolding). I loved to eat what I prepared too,” laughed Mahani. She enjoys cooking dishes till today.
She revealed that while serving and volunteering in the charity bodies, one of her greatest achievement was able to raise fund of RM180,000 through the “Great Indian Circus show” all the way from India for the purpose of upgrading the existing Red Crescent centre in Sembulan, Kota Kinabalu .
“We were indeed so delighted and motivated with the collection. In fact I became popular for organising such event where (at that time), no one could think of such a way to raise fund but we did it,” she said proudly.
Another fundraising event she managed to do was the ‘Parisian Night’ where she gathered famous fashion designers from Paris and brought them to parade their designs in Sabah!
“Famous designers like Par Spook, Carvan, Torontle and a few others were in town parading their creation. People from the neighbouring countries rushed to Sabah to attend the event. We also managed to sell lots of dinner tickets to Singapore and Philippines to come and see their favourite designers. This time we raised RM1.2 million. The money was used to build 5 new buildings of the NGOs such as Red Crescent, St. John Ambulance, Girl Guides, Scouts and PAYS in the new allocated place in Likas and is still very much utilised till today,” she related happily.
Dayang Mahani received her early education at St. Paul primary school in Beaufort and later continued her secondary school in Sabah College after obtaining a scholarship from Colombo Plan.
She revealed that attending a mission school in her early years of education was one good experience, saying most of her teachers were foreigners which explained her speaking very fluently in English.
“We also followed our teachers to pray the Christian way. It was good experience to be able to learn about other religions as it enriched my knowledge further,” she said.
Today, at 65, Mahani still flashes her sweet smile and her radiant look. She seemed jovial whenever she shared stories of her past. No one would guess that she is having colon cancer and is on stage four and was due to carry out her treatment for two and a half months in Guangzhou, China from 15th September 2016 onwards.
“Never, never let yourself be swayed by sickness, negativity that comes crossing your life. This life of ours is meant to be lived, to be enjoyed and most importantly to serve others. Therefore, you don’t give chance to any of these elements to stop what you are supposed to do. Every second of our life is so precious, don’t let it go without giving value to it,” she advised.
Asked about how she handled her situation, she took it with openness and ready to face what come may.
“Do not worry too much, what Allah gives you, you receive it with open heart. Treat everything as lessons and something we can learn from. In fact till today, I am still learning things that come upon me. Therefore, I am growing everyday despite with the ailments I am having,” she added.
She has not been silent about the battle. She read a lot about cancer and its treatment, alternative medicine and many more. Her husband Datuk Onn Ariffin has been very supportive, getting knowledge, research and information about the deadly diseases.
“Like I said, God gives us something, we must accept it with open heart. Learn from it, life moves on.
I am not keeping quiet about it. I go and do my research as well. I read books on cancer. Onn has been supportive of me and so do some of my friends who offer help. Life is good as it teaches us things we do not get from school,” she added.
Mahani and Onn had 4 adopted children namely Noornisha, Syamsulflan Suffian, Mohd Faresh Firdauze and Aleysha.
Mahani was an adopted daughter of Tun Pengiran Raffae. Her biological father was Awang Bhatt from Kuala Penyu and mother Minah Blackwell, a half British.
About politics, she said it was never in her wildest dream to be involved.
“People at that time see me as an active volunteer and perhaps others saw my vocal participation in another different angle.
But honestly, my father never wanted me to be in politics. He said politics was dirty and so on.. But there I was.. in the front line, and the rest was history.
Somehow, what I remember most was my time in volunteering work imparting my time, knowledge and expertise. These were the best memory I have so far. Those who were with me during that era also played important part in my life as they became my teachers instantly,” she thought.
Today, Mahani is receiving treatment in Guangzhou for 2 and half months. She said after everything is over, she would want to travel to countries she hasn’t been. She was determined to pursue her dreams visiting places.
“I also wish to go back to Toronto, Canada to see my relatives there. Aunty Joan is my biological mum’s sister and lives in Oakville, Toronto.
I have been to many places and some gave me beautiful memories such as while in South Africa where I had the chance to meet Nelson Mandela. It was a beautiful meeting and he taught me things that I did not receive in school,” Mahani related.
“Today, many people remember me for my food too, hahaha.. That’s because I could prepare delicious array of dishes such as rending, curried chicken, fried noodle and many more. I do most of the cooking when there are kenduri and other family functions.
You see, sneaking to see what’s going on in the kitchen (when in Istana) was the best teacher in my lifetime and because of that I mastered cooking till today,” she said proudly.
Mahani’s sister, Rozanah Bhatt praised her sister’s willpower.
“She is one strong woman. She is a fighter. I only have my prayers for her wellbeing,” said Rozanah.
