Apologies. Do you find it hard? I certainly do.
I hate apologising, thus I try to live in such a way that I believe I won't have to apologise. Yet, sometimes I must.
I am quite prepared to give a quick meaningless apology. Yet my cunning family can read through my phony "sorry" and insist on receiving a sincere apology. This annoys me, I must confess, to dredge honesty out of my soul.
Yet how does the "Master of Deceit" (me) give an apology that others can interpret as being sincere? Not too easily done I can assure you.
We all know the fable of "the Boy who cried Wolf". He kept on lying and getting caught in his lies of pretending the wolf had appeared, yet when the wolf really did appear, no - one would believe his cries, to the calamity of the village.
The problem of acquiring the art of distorting the truth with a deadpan straight face are the consequences that follow. If you tease people, then you are putting the victim into a place that will ultimately require redress. The falsehood will have to be set straight by correcting the misinformed person's understanding of the error.
If such a lie is stated with passion, then the apology will likewise have to be stated with an equivalent amount of passion.
Unresolved situations have dangers attached, what is a small matter will become a great matter the longer the passage of time that elapses. If left untended, the poison of incorrect perception or relationships will fester until estrangement and permanent damage results.
Can an apology be related to the concept of repentance? It depends on what you understand as the definition of the world "repentance". It is a word with great depth, but in its ultimate sense it means "fixing"; making right that which was wrong. There are two more crucial elements, (1) put things back the way they were before and (2) don't repeat the original offence.
Thus, if I apologise in the more encompassing manner of "repentance", the requirement on me will be as follows: (1) rebuild/regain the trust of the victim and (2) stop doing it, stop the teasing for example.
But what if I don't want to stop the teasing/joking? Will my apology be meaningful? If I do not apologise in the full sense of the word, will I not be a hypocrite, lacking complete sincerity?
Thus I do not want to apologise because then I am offering to limit the use of my irritating sense of humour, which I personally enjoy. Probably a character flaw. But flaws are just that, flaws. Do not I, as a human being (that wants personal development) have a personal obligation to myself to "grow up"? I suppose I do. This is a reluctant admission.
I had discovered the "tongue in the cheek" sense of humour from the English. They can tease someone without that person even being aware of being teased. This impressed me greatly when I was young.
Too much humour is slapstick in our entertainment industry these days. It is a bit of an insult if you think about it; the comedians don't have confidence that the audience will "get it". So now its the "pie in the face" routine.
Yet sometimes humour can go too far and I must admit I love pushing the boundaries.
Sometimes though, the reset button will have to be pushed and I will have to rethink my limits.