(luckily the Rover on Mars got out of this rut!)
I feel like I am stuck in a rut. Or is it an early grave?
A younger me would be disgusted at such a confession. There is a great deal of self revelation in such a statement. An admission of intellectual poverty. An admission of apathy.
At least I am making the statement. At least I am looking myself in the eye and admitting that "all is NOT quiet on the Western Front (title from a magnificent book written by Erich Maria Remarque about World War One). This term of "all quiet on the Western Front" means that there is no major military activity in the terrible trench warfare and that the poor soldiers could rest and live another day. We used to use it a lot when I was a kid growing up. It seems as if it is not used anymore, as the passage of time gently blankets the collective memory of mankind into forgetfulness for long passed horrors of suffering soldiers.
When I was growing up I well remember the statement "the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. It really struck my mind.
I know a grave is six foot down? Probably deeper in reality but I am not sure. However I am pretty certain that a rut is not as deep. We can define a rut as a long deep furrow in the road. I have driven in ruts while driving a vehicle and it is not easy to get out. You can even leave the steering wheel along and the vehicle will continue in the direction of the rut.
(consequences of a serious rut)
So I am in a rut! I am doing things that I like, cell phone games, cooking, a bit of exercise, spending time with the family, a bit of scripture study (not too much I confess), writing articles for steemit, playing with the animals and going to work. Seems pretty normal but there needs to be more, I feel it in my bones.
The only thing that has changed for the better in a significant way is that my wife and I each have a car that works. It has taken a few years but that is a good thing. Changing our routine in a joyful way is the arrival of a kitten rescued from my work with the name of Nugget. The young fellow certainly has got the existing cats out of their routine.
What makes me feel like I am in a rut is the general lack of energy that I now seem to be cursed with. Diet? Age? Goal setting? Poor sleep patterns? I know all of these have an impact. What about unachieved "intentions"? A good example of mine is repairs and maintenance around the house! How much promised! How little done!
(symbol of my life if I don't get off my butt!)
Lately my family have gotten involved in serving the poor in our community more. It certainly makes a massive difference to outlook and appreciation of what we have when comparing ourselves to the poor and homeless.
So in my mind to get out of a rut, or the rut, will take effort and energy. I have been extremely fortunate (or blessed as others would say) to be alive; to get through a battle with a tumour. I have been left with a few after effects, the minor ones are the continual tingling sensation in my arms and hands and the tennitus in my ears. The major after effect problem is after I have been sitting a while and I want to stand up, I feel like I am going to fall over. After a few moments I am good to go.
So I need energy to get out. I have to make the effort. I like my mind, I guess I will use it more, set goals more and measure myself more. I will need to look to serve others more, see their problems and forget about my own. The self forgetfulness is a natural by-product of serving others. It is very nice to forget about oneself sometimes. By observing others, I see that the most self absorbed people are the most MISERABLE people. My wife is a happy person as she is continually prepared to work and help others. When she spends too much time in self reflection, a victim mentality emerges; "no-body loves me, I am just a worm, hopeless and insignificant!"
As I may have mentioned before, a heroine of mine, Nancy Dornan, made a profound statement when she said "I have learned to be comfortable in an uncomfortable environment". Her meaning was clear, do new things, learn new things, get out of the rut, the effort is worth the freedom.
(getting rid of the rut takes effort and planning)
Break the shackles from your mind, it can nearly do anything. You are its limit.
(you can sure go places when out of the rut)
