"Kayong mga lalake, akala ninyo pag nambabae kayo..akala ninyo nasasaktan niyo lang kami. Makikipagchukchakan kayo tapos ine-expect ninyo iiyak lang kami. Itutulog ang sakit tapos paggising ok na? Yun ang pangarap namin.. Sana nga ganun lang kadali un.. Kaso hindi. Walang tigil ang takbo ng utak namin.. Pinipilit sagutin ang maraming tanong.. Bakit kaya niya nagawa un? Am i not enough? May kulang ba sa akin? May mali ba sa akin? Pangit ba ako? Pangit ba katawan ko? Kapalit-palit ba ako? Then Why? ."
You may have moved on from a guy, but its hard to move on from what he did.. The questions you just have., that he doesn't even have an answer will get stuck in your mind for a long time, then suddenly, triggered or not by something..
And every time you remember, you will feel that pain in your chest and you can only cry and pray for it to go away and ask god to help you to take away that pain..yes you have forgiven but i know it still hurts..
And this is where your insecurities build up.. You feel very demeaned., disrespected.. Your confidence drops., and you feel like trash., unimportant.,insignificant., etc... This is where you put malice into every word and act.. You become paranoid and stressed.. You will miss that time when you are just happy and not worrying..
Us girls., we want our man to make us feel like were the only girl in the world and that we are the best for them.. No one can love him better than you., right?? But how can it be possible?? you're gonna need constant assurance and it will really take time to heal and to earn our trust again....