Hello steemians! I've never thought I would fall in love with a sea farer. Yes he is a seaman have you heard the saying that "dont fall inlove with a seaman they will break your heart" or in tagalog "SEAMANloloko" or "In every port report" or it means that in every port there will be a new girl. Those are the teases I've heard from others everytime that I will say that my boyfriend is seaman. Sometimes I choose to remain in silence everytime they are asking me about my personal life especially about my boyfriend not because I don't want other to know that I'm commited but I don't want to hear something that is not true.
I grew up and I witnessed my mother's hardship facing the struggle of being a long distance relationship because my father is also an OFW. There are times when I saw my mother crying because my father had an accident in abroad and she can't do anything to take care of my father. Back then I said ''I'll not fall inlove with a man who will leave me for the sake of money."
Until three years ago I've met a man that I never thought I could be fall inlove. He is a Marine Engineering student that time while I'm an Education student. We became friends as times goes by we're knowing more each other and realized that we want us to become more than friends and February 01 2015 when I finally said yes. My heart is full of hapiness but my mind are full of what if's doubts and fear. I don't trust a man aside from my father.
Ever since our relationship is long distance he studied in an Academy where the cadetes are not allowed to go outside of the academy it is very hard until we graduated college and became professionals he became Marine Engineer and I am a License Professional Teacher. It takes one year after he graduated to start his profession as seafarer.
We enjoyed everyday of our lives we always have time for each other we do a lot of crazy things and trips with our friends. We always treassure and keep every seconds counts when we are together. We always do "YOLO" moments or "You Only Live Once" we eat like there is no tomorrow we laugh like it was the end of the world. I can say that I'm comfortable with him we accepts each other flaws. We hug each other even if we haven't took a bath. We care for each other like we are bestfriend. He is over protective like my father. He is the coolest but the most caring guy I've ever met.
My boyfriend is my happiness sometimes I asked god why I have fell inlove with this guy? I asked him also why me? What I have done good why you gave him? I asked my boyfriend also why do you want me there is a lot of pretty girls there. Why did you choose me? Defenitely I am not sexy, I am not rich, I am not beautiful, I'm not famous, I am not intelligent, I am not like the other girls. My boyfriend said I love you of what you are I love you and I don't know why I just love you because of being the most beautiful the sexiest girl in my eyes. I just don't know what to say. I felt like I'm an ice cream that start to melt with the happiness in my heart. I feel so complete and blessed to have him in my life.
But in Love it is not only a happy moments
My happiness turns in to sadness when he have to leave me to pursue his career as a seaman. The day before he leaves is the clingiest day of my life. I keep on crying like a child that like as if the favorite toy was stolen. I wanted to say don't leave me I'm not yet ready to face my fear. The fear of being away with you. But I have to understand that it is part of his life. This is a one step closer to his dream. This is the reality of life that I fall inlove with a seaman. I have to understand that he has a family that he need to support and he has a lot of goals in his life not only for his life but also for the both of us. We built those dream together and that is one step to make those dream come true and we have to face the truth that there is no such an easy way to get your goals in life. I need to understand I need to cope with the sadness and I need to adjust.I don't want to be selfish. I want him to see that he reach his goals.
My boyfriend leave the country for his first journey as a seafarer. The struggle begins the waiting game started. At first it is just like a normal thing we chat each other we used messager to have video calls as usual thing to talk about how are day was spent. After two weeks on board the ship will need to change location and they will be on their way to another country. The situation becomes harder he doesn't have a signal to communicate with me. There are nights that my tears automatically falling when I remembered the things we used to do.
There are more days that my boyfriend don't have a signal than the days that there is. I celebrated our monthsary alone. I've learned how to watch movie all by myself and go to shopping with no one else. There are a lot of celebrations that he have been missed, Christmas day, New years day my Birthday, his Birthday, our Anniversary Valentines day and many more. I've learned a lot from this I've learned how to be independent how to decide on my own specially I've learned my limitation I've set aside the things that I know that he don't want me to do. I've also learned that friends are important too. It makes me learn how to enjoy my life with my family and friends.
I'm thankful that there are a lot of modern technologies nowadays that you can use to communicate to someone. When there are times and opportunities to talk with each other, we always take time to make our relationship works even we are miles away from each other. We ensure that we are always be there for each other if one of us is having a bad times. If one of has had a bad days. I always keep in my mind that we are one chat away. That he is always be the man I love from start. Our relationship is not easy but we always remind each other to be honest all the time and keep our faith strong. We seek for god guidance and assistance when we have things that we mis understood. We made god as center of our relationship. We keep on being inlove with each other. We keep our faith strong that someday we don't need to leave each other and suffer the loneliness that brought of the long distance.
We have a little ways to show our love, like sending pictures that can bring smile to us. We keep doing things that we used to do if posible like he sing a song for me until I get sleepy but the difference now is it will only in video call. Sometimes we eat our favorite food at the same time however I can only see him over the screen. We listen to our favorite song but its totally different now since we are using devices.
My boyfriend loves my family I love his family too. I realized that if you love someone you will love also the people that is important to him. His parents are the reason why he is here and giving so much joy to life. Without these people my boyfriend will be nothing. I respect them and love them like my own parents. My boyfriends loves also my family like his own.
But the feeling of emptiness is as well as the feeling of happiness once he gets back. Long distance relationship is not always bad you will learn a lot of things from it. The feeling of happiness and excitement everytime that you will know that you will be together again is priceless. Long distance relationship is kind of special relationship. No one will take the risk of leaving your partner and wait for a long time if you don't love the person. It is just a proof that you both truly love each other. You will realized that you both are matured to accept the fact that life and love ain't easy. It will test your love your patient, commitment and loyalty to your partner. Most of all you will realized how strong you are and how strong your relationship is. Because not every couple can survive this kind of relationship.
"It takes a strong woman to love a seaman"
Atleast I realized I'm strong kidding aside. I will always be strong in the name of love and for the man I love the most.
True love is worth fighting, waiting and worth sacrificing. You will feel different kinds of feeling when you are inlove the feeling of pain, stress happiness and you will undergo into many circumstances. If you are willing to love you're willing to give everything without expecting something in return. Love is a huge thing to dicuss it is the feelings or emotion that you feel to someone sometimes it is undefinable. We cannot say or show sometimes our true feelings but deep inside we love the person. If you love someone you better let them know it is always a good idea to express it.
A good partner is one of a most precious gift from up above. A partner that is not perfect but will accept you for being who you are. A partner that is willing to sacrifies everything for you who will be brave enough to fight for you. A partner who will accept the darkest side of you. Eventhough there is no such a perfect relationship if you find someone that you know worth fighting and who will deserve all your teardrops I can say that don't let go that someone. Ther is no perfect in this world but it is up to you how you will look to something if you love someone don't look for something that he don't have but look of the things that he have and don't expect too much and at the end eventhough there is no perfect relationship you will find the perfectness in your relationship you will feel that you're contented with your partner.
I can say that my partner bring the best in me he is my inspiration for everything and I will always be thankful to god for giving the man that I never thought I deserve the man behind my "teardrops" not a teardrops of sadness but the "teardrops" of happiness and being thankful. I am who I am now because I choose to love him he helps me to become a better person and most imprortantly to become the best version of myself.
Thanks for Steemit for having an opportunity to write this post I also want to thank my leads who keeps on inspiring me and teaching how we can improve our writing skill 
*photos are from google some are mine
Happy steeming!
