I'm pouring a little of myself again today with a dash of realization I had.
There was a seemingly unnoticeable event that ticked me off. And this involved a loved one.
I noticed that there was a trigger in me that made me disagree on some point. I became a little aggressive in putting that person off. I felt guilty afterwards, of course, as my emotions got the best out of me. And the worse part is I couldn't understand why I felt that way.
I froze. The feeling was overwhelming, and it was draining me fast. I needed to move. So, I decided to analyze my emotions and dive deeper into myself to help me understand the root cause as to why I reacted that way.
It was like peeling an onion -- difficult at first and then slowly becoming easier as I peeled off the thicker layers. I was writing down my emotions in hopes of digging deeper. After minutes of reflecting, I finally understood. There was a thing in the past that made me somehow "traumatized", and since I haven't forgiven the people involved over that matter, the memory haunted me, and thus causing trigger.
Slowly, I tried opening myself up. Trying to erase it in my memory by giving me the chance to process those feelings I once set aside.
It was time to let go. And I did. Soon after, I felt huge relief. Like something huge was pulled off my chest. Things are really different when we try to take control rather than the circumstances controlling us.
Putting it in another way, "Life can be sweeter when we let it be."
And since I'm at it, I want to remind myself to be carefree and naughty sometimes -- set myself free and just be me.
Hopefully, you'll get something out of my realizations. You may be experiencing something similiar, so I hope this can be a tool for you to take charge. Cheers!
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