Self esteem is one big issue that's ignored by people. This is because they see it as a case of seeking attention or a case of being humble. The things is, there's a huge difference between self esteem and attention seeking. Having low self esteem can be a source of so many problems especially in the case of teenagers who are just growing into adults. During the adolescent period, there's naivety and a situation of not knowing who to talk to. The heart then is so fragile that it gets affected easily by things happening around us. Low self esteem can be a source of lack of confidence. It can lead to anorexia, isolation, depression or SUICIDE! You heard it right? Suicide.
The role of the media is crucial in how we are being portrayed. As a white woman, you're looking perfect if you have a flawless white skin, slender with blue or olive colored eyes. As a black woman, you're considered perfect looking if you have a flat tummy, big and firm breasts, curvy body with some big rounded ass and ironically being light complexioned. The truth is no matter how you try as a black woman, you can never look like Angelina Jolie, Meghan Markle or Zoe Sandana . The main reason is because our genes are different from theirs. You're the best you can ever be. Don't compare yourself with anybody or with your celebrity role models.
I have a very close friend who people classed as a lady that's comfortable with herself. The truth is that, she's acting! She put up a good act in concealing her insecurities. She has struggled with her self esteem since she was a teenager. She became an introvert. It affected her academic life and her relationship. She's either concerned about her looks, her hair, her gait, her voice. She tried her best to fit into all thought flowing in her brain. I could vividly remember a time she refrained herself from eating for days. All she took during those days was water. She did all these because whenever she stare at her reflection in the mirror, she saw a lady with big tummy, flabby arms, acne-filled face. She hates the fact that she couldn't fit into the skinny jeans she found attractive. She would spend eternity in front of the mirror, soliloquizing to herself "Why am I not pretty like my friends?"
Boys avoided her while they were busy chasing her friends. No one wanted her. She started spending fortunes on beauty products, slimming tea. She started concocting her own soaps and creams together with deep pores cleanser. She just wanted to be like every other girl around her. She was internally destroyed. She got skinny to the extent that, she looks like someone battling with a life threatening disease. Her skin began to flake. Friends and family Complained but she was less concerned about that. All she wanted was to be beautiful. Gradually, she became isolated, she became depressed, she wanted to commit suicide. She thought no one understood her.
Luckily for her, fate smiled on her. She met a amazing man. It was just friendship at first because it graduated into love and relationship. He wanted her! She didn't want to admit it at first that this guy wanted her. He was a year older than her. He was a nice and caring man with an amiable personality. He was always there for her. She started coming out of her shell, she didn't want to go back into the shell anymore. She had every chance to be make him her confidant but she didn't because she doesn't want to be hurt. She does not want to wound her emotions. She doesn't want to go back to that grieving little girl. Gradually, her low self esteem began to seep in. She started thinking, "how could this handsome and caring guy want me? Are there no beautiful ladies around?". To make matter worse, there was a young, brilliant, beautiful, curvy and succulent lady who wanted him. She started seeing it as a Competition and she felt she can't win the competition because of her plain look. She tried to push the guy towards the lady but he said he doesn't like her and the person he wanted was her! She continued pushing him away. Gradually, they started drifting apart. She lost the love of her life because of low self esteem. She found it hard to believe in herself. Despite the fact that she misses him so much she couldn't bring herself to tell him.
The main reason this article came alive is to tell someone out there to believe in yourself. No one can ever love you the way you do. Love yourself and watch people love you too. Having a good self esteem is important, or else you'll lose a lot and even lose the important people in your life. Your happiness matters most, make yourself happy. Tell yourself you deserve it, tell yourself you're good enough for this. In this recent times, some ladies try to overcome low self esteem by throwing themselves at guys and trying to appear good for people who doesn't worth it. Having sex with a man because she thinks it will make him like her. The society condemn them without getting to the foundation of the problem. Condemning them is just like pushing them deeper into it. The more the society condemns them, the more they lost their self esteem.