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Imagine you hold a bottle of water for 5mins, what will happen?
What if you hold it a bit longer like 3hours?Your hand will feel numb,and you know what?the size of the container didn't even increase.imagine what holding on to your past that is hurtful is doing to us..
Nelson Mandela once said "when I was walking out the door towards the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew that if I don't leave behind my bitterness and hatred, I will still be in prison "..
So , you see, we are still the ones holding us though it's not easy ....
And the moral lesson is that this bottle represents our challenges,our problems, our worries, our anxieties about uncertainty, that the longer that we hold them, the more pains they can do to us..
When we recognise that actually by holding negative feelings towards another individual simply harms the way we think.
That's when you will truly forgive, move on and let go..
STEPS
- HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF (love you) of which God plays the Vital role:*
It doesn't matter whether you are wretched or from a humble background (poverty), if you can attain contentment and inner harmony, you are as fulfilled as and perhaps more at peace than the richest person in the world. You have to really know and love you and God is there to help you.
2-REMOVE ANYTHING THAT REMINDS YOU OF YOUR EX, in worse case scenario, change environment* :
If this is not properly addressed, it leads to more depression of which can lead to suicide.
And this is dependant on how hurt you are and what you really put in , in that relationship..
3- FOCUS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFEstyle, make yourself better than before.
You really need to start improving and thinking out ways to improve your status, your goals and Aims in life.....
Take for instance, if you are still the same person your EX left years ago, how will you feel if you meet again somehow?.
4-MAKE FRIENDS THAT ARE PLAYFUL AND HAPPY, friends that like going on vacations, site seeing most especially that are optimistic
In as much as we know the saying that bad communication corrupts good manner yet we have grown to the point of doing what we really want for ourselves and the kind of company we need....
At the verge of finding you and getting fulfilled and happy, don't run into a something that will get you deeper into trouble but try to be around happy people..
5- Avoid romantic music for some time in your life until u can boldly listen to them without having much emotions regarding your past* :
This is basically for music lovers..
Those who at every point in their relationship, they love listening to romantic musics and possibly the duo have some kinds of ones they both love.
If you are that type and you keep listening to them while still fresh in the ministry of break up, then you are gradually making yourself more miserable....
For that moment, lock up on stuffs like that....
It will guide you to your recovery state...
6-GIVE YOURSELF LOTS OF TIME TO HEAL:
Don't go into any new relationship any sooner till you are sure you have worked on number 3 (improving on status).
Funny enough, we always think that going into a new relationship immediately we break up is a life saver...
Funny enough, we think that allowing others into our past immediately can help us..
It could be some months or possibly a year. Just give it time. You will really be hurting yourself and the new partner if you didn't give yourself time to heal.
So, if we have really understand all this , i think and know that it will help us help us this periods to really know what we really what...
The right perception to all life situations, gives at least some level of happiness and adaptability because life ain't a fairy tale...
NOTE
There are so many times we pretend about lots of things and fake lots of things in our lives just to catch up with life and be seen to be perfect but there are people that when you see them you can't pretend anymore because they know you, "the real you" and maybe that is why you avoid seeing them for so long.
HELP YOURSELF TO HEAL FASTER
YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY