Cupertino California -- Earlier this week Apple released updated versions of its Macbook Air, iPad Pro, and Mac mini. What was not mentioned was that earlier this year Apple's R&D team accidentally created a black hole in their labs while attempting to make their thinnest iPhone ever.
When asked about the black hole Tim Cook responded, "Now is not the time to reveal a lot of details about our new aHole. It was not something we were intending to create, but we can say it is the best ahole ever invented. The space gray aluminum enclosure we built to house the singularity is made from 100% recycled material and is our smallest singularity enclosure yet."
Rumors are everywhere concerning how Apple will use its newest discovery. Everything from an updated Time Machine that actually moves your data back in time, to iPhones that cannot be dropped. An inside source claims that Apple plans to use the black hole to suck the soul from customers that still want to upgrade the storage in their Mac mini even after Apple was gracious enough to provide upgradeable memory in the new version of their desktop computer. Our source said, "We want all of our customers to love our aHole, not just the ones that have never owned a PC."