4 Steps to Stop the Abuse

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Emotional and mental abuse involves a person acting in a way to control, isolate, or scare somebody else. The form of abuse may be statements, threats, or actions, and there may be a pattern or regularity to the behaviour.

Some signs of abuse, such as marks on the body from physical harm, are easy to notice. Other forms of abuse may be more difficult to see or understand. Some signs of emotional abuse can be obvious from outside the situation, but a person in that situation may miss them or be unaware that the situation is abusive at all.

Learning more about the signs and situations in which emotional abuse may occur can help people identify their situation and seek the help they need.

However, emotional abuse may also take place in various types of relationships. These include:

1. It may be a partner in a relationship.
2. with a business partner or close team member
3. with a parent
4. with a caretaker
5. with a close friend a person relies on

As the National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse note, emotional and mental abuse can be very subtle at times. The person may not even notice that someone is manipulating them. It is essential to identify these patterns and try to put an end to them. Emotional abuse takes many shapes but may fall into one of several categories depending on what the abusive person is attempting to do.

CONTROL: Controlling behaviour is a red flag in any relationship. Examples of controlling behaviour include:

1. making demands or orders and expecting them to be fulfilled
2. making all decisions, even cancelling another's plans without asking
3. continually monitoring another person's whereabouts

SHAME: An emotionally abusive person may try to shame the other person about their behaviour. Abusive people may try to make a person feel shame for their shortcomings or feel as though they are much worse for these shortcomings. The abusive person may give lectures about the other person's behaviour, in a way to make it clear that the other person is inferior.

BLAME: Blame typically stems from the abusive person's sense of insecurity. By blaming others, they do not have to feel their shortcomings. Jealousy also can be an abuse tactic. The abusive person may regularly confront the other for talking to or "flirting with" other people. They may accuse the other person of cheating on them regularly.

HUMILIATION: Much of the time, an abusive person's actions or words seem to serve no purpose other than to humiliate the other. This type of behaviour includes: Blatant name calling, Insults on appearance, they may also pick on the other person or openly make fun of them in a social setting.

Some people feel that they can deal with the abuse, or they may try to justify it by saying that it is not as bad as physical abuse. However, as the Office on Women's health note, emotional abuse has its own long term affects, and it is also often a sign that physical abuse will follow.

Because of this, it is important to take action toward stepping away from an emotionally abusive situation.

This includes steps such as:

1. Setting boundaries with the abusive person: This includes standing up for oneself to any degree necessary to get the abuse to stop. In many cases, this includes ending a relationship or cutting ties with a partner and never speaking to them again.
   2)Changing priorities: Abusive people manipulate a person's sense of sympathy, often to the point that they are neglecting themselves while taking care of the abusive person. It is important to end this habit and begin putting one's own priorities first.
2. Get professional help: Seeking long term professional help in the form of therapy and support groups can strengthen a person's resolve and help them believe that they are not alone in recovering from abuse.
3. Exit plan: Anyone who feels that they are in an emotionally abusive situation should also have a plan for getting out of the situation when the time comes. Working with those that love and support them may help this plan feel stronger, and it may help the person take action when the time is right.

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