I want to talk about HBO's Game of Thrones. In particular, season 7, episode 7 entitled: The Dragon and the Wolf. I have created a review that is superior in every way to the one's I've read from people who actually get paid to express their opinions. In this case the problem is they just write too much. They write too much because their publication makes them fill a quota on words withing the article. They are spineless for choosing to not stick it to "the man" in this situation. So I took it upon myself to tell you everything you need to know about this episode with no rhetorical nonsense that gives mainstream critics the false sense that someone actually cares about their literary skills. That phenomenon died with Roger Ebert. So here it is; everything you need to know before sending the kids to bed and hitting the play button on that dvr. All presented with no filler, no nuance, no spoilers, no pretension, no reflection, and no fifty cent words. In fact, there are no words here what soever. I carefully chose a series of stock photos from around the internet that express the reality of seeing it all unfold for the first time. Scroll down for all you need to know before hitting play on that DVR (scroll slowly for maximum effect):
GOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGOTGO
Did I miss anything? All that's left is to wait the better part of a year or more to see what happens next! Hearty high fives and pats on the back to all involved with this fine work of art.
Edit: Here is the original intro if anyone misses it or is interested in reading it. I felt the humor was too dry and subtracted from what I was trying to accomplish:
I just finished watching the season 7 finale of HBO's Game of Thrones, and I'm very disappointed. First, I'm disappointed that we were shorted 3 episodes, as season 7 clocks in at a paltry 7 episodes instead of the 10 we have become accustomed to. After the credits rolled and the music played, I went to look up reviews to see if anyone else had the same reaction I did. Wouldn't you know, not a single mainstream critic that I've seen has had the guts to tell the glaring truth about the events that unfold in the land of Westeros. All I could find were typical reviews overflowing with the poetic language filled with praises, and nitpicks interspersed with mundane commentary. All that work was just wasted time, as well as a crock of nonsense! All that fancy rhetoric would have been much more suited for some other show, because no combination of words will ever change the reality here that has been sorely neglected! These critics make good money expressing their opinions! If everyone got paid for this it would end poverty the world over! For this fact, as well as the fact that we trust them to point us in the right direction, they need to be held to a higher standard.
I have decided to pick up the the ball that has been collectively dropped. Below is my very own review which is ten times more accurate than any of the others I've read. It tells us all we need to know with the least amount of effort. There is no filler to be found here. As a matter of fact, there are no words. I created a superior critique using only a series of stock photos. That's got to say something. This is the only review I am aware of that doesn't gloss over the truth about what HBO has presented us with. Scroll down.