Our life is divided into 4 stages
Writer and entrepreneur mark Manson in his blog published an article saying that all people sooner or later go through several life stages.
- Imitation
We are born helpless. We can't walk, talk, eat and even pay their damn taxes.
Children we learn to live by imitating adults. We learn from them how to move, talk, etc we are developing our social skills through communication with peers. Finally, we learn to adapt to the culture of a society, to norms, rules and limits of behavior.
The objective of the first phase is to teach us how to exist within society, but at the same time to be independent units. The idea that adults help us achieve this by teaching the ability to act independently.
But some adults are just stupid. They punish us for independence, do not support our decisions. So we can't become independent, we just score, and we permanently stuck in this phase of imitation.
In a normal person, the stage of imitation must end in adolescence or young adulthood. But for some it continues into adulthood. And there are those who one morning, in 45 years, realize that they were fucking someone else's life.
- Self-knowledge
If the first stage we learn to live within society, then on the second we are already looking for what differentiates us from that of society itself, we want to be unique.
Self-knowledge is experiment. Experiment with the professions, with the environment, with places to stay and generally with roles in this life. Some of them are, some aren't. The goal is to find my own. And to find, you should always look for.
The second phase lasts as long as we do not begin to set their own limitations. Restrictions — the important thing. You need to understand that our time on this planet is limited and we should spend it on the most important things and really good people.
But there are people who really are stuck at the stage of self-discovery. They spend most of the time, telling himself the opposite, thinking that they have plenty of time. Those who 38 live with your mom, assuring that their business is trample; or "future stars", which has never and auditioning-it was not; or those who can't be in a long relationship, because I think that true love awaits them ahead.
Usually the stage of self-discovery lasts for the entire second decade of life, approximately 30-35. People who are stuck on it, called suffering the "Peter pan syndrome" is an eternal teenagers who spend their lives looking for themselves, never achieving any results.
- Implementation
As soon as we finished the stage of experiments and found what we at least not terrible, we understand that now is the time to make your mark in this world.
In the third stage, we focus on the most important: remove friends that drain and hold us back, cross out classes that are a waste of time, erase the dreams that are obviously unrealistic. Now, our focus is only on what is really important to us. It is our mission and we have to follow it.
That's what bothers us at this stage: what will I leave behind? some people will remember me? how do I affect this world? We need to achieve something that future generations could answer these questions.
This phase usually begins at 30-35 years of age and ends at pre-retirement age, when we realize that we'll not manage to realize all your ambitions. And not enough time, and physical strength.
- Heritage
We come to this stage already with a half-century of life experience over their shoulders. Something we made, something — no. In any case, we've reached the age when our energy does not allow us to move towards your goals as rapidly as before.
This stage is very hard psychologically, because we are constantly haunted by the sense of his own mortality. All people need to feel that their existence is not pointless. The belief that life has meaning — it is almost our only protection from thoughts of death.
The goal of this step is to realize that you have a heritage. This is something that is not subject to the influence of death. Something that will exist without you. It can be children, students, professional projects, discoveries, political views and so on.
What is the meaning of these stages?
The point is that with each step we have more control over their lives, and most importantly — happiness.
In the first stage, our happiness depends on other people. On the second, we are constantly experimenting, experiencing losses and failures. On the third we have more happy, but do not have time to enjoy it. And, finally, at last, we are content with the fruits of the previous stages and have only one goal — survive as long as possible.
At each subsequent stage of happiness is increasingly based on domestic-driven values and less on the outside ever-changing world.
It should be noted that the transition to the next stage is never instantaneous. Sometimes we can be in between two stages, when we close and then, and then. But sooner or later we completely overestimate our priorities in life. So while we may lose some people from your life. And this is logical https://vk.com/brain4you— it is necessary to always move forward, surround yourself with only people standing and remember that time is limited.