I've learned over the years that I have a very over active mind, the thoughts are never ending and has always been a barrage of this and that and the other. Constant noise, thoughts, memories, ideas and useless crap in a whirlwind. Overthinker? Yeah, that's putting it mildly. And now I have the terrible condition of tinnitus... this constant hissing in my left ear. I can't even remember what true silence is like. I yearn for it though. Every day. Just quiet.
I started digging into ways to calm things down. Because even though I am a usually a relaxed and mellow person, my mind is not and what a stark contrast that is. I started reading about meditation and how people use it to not only calm their minds but to also reach another level of consciousness. They use it to merge with their higher selves and I find this very interesting and I can say that I believe there is some truth to that from my experiences.
I have these days that for no other reason than waking up, I get this nervous feeling, my heart wants to beat out of my chest, my insides feel shaky and that leads to my hands shaking. I'm not sure why I have days like this out of the blue. When something is happening I can understand that but when there's nothing going on and I have these feeling I can't help but ask myself WTF?? Why am I like this? Why does my body feel the need to treat me this way? I don't know if I will ever have those answers. Maybe it has something to do with the past or maybe I'm subconsciously going through something that I don't know? No matter the reason, I felt that this certainly could not be good for me so I tried finding ways to combat this feeling when it would arise.
I read some articles on meditation and started watching videos. It's not easy to sit there quietly, to just breathe and relax and let go. In a world where I'm constantly just trying to hang on now it's time to let go and that is a lot harder than it sounds. But after some practice and after finding some guided meditation, it started to work. I find the guided meditation helps a lot and I am able to focus on the words being said. My thoughts don't wander as much. I try to meditate at least twice a day. Before I go to sleep and before I start my day. It hasn't done anything to stop the hissing in my ears but when my mind goes crazy, it definitely helps to control that part of myself.
I'm the kind of person to research everything! Anything that I find myself interested in, I try to learn as much as I possibly can about the subject. When learning about meditation, I also came across some things that just resonated with me. I don't feel so bad talking about it now. Better to talk about it with only twelve followers instead of a hundred. I will not be citing sources, I am treating this as if I'm just talking to a few friends and telling you things that have blown my mind on my journey.
It wasn't that long ago that I was a very cynical person. Didn't believe in much of anything really. The way life had been, I felt I was just doomed from the start and until very specific things started to help guide me along... that's just the way it was. Things started happening when I began meditating. My mind was not only at ease after meditation, my heart was happy and I was full of energy. Some days I would have a smile that just wouldn't go away.
When making the decision to flee the south, I can honestly say that there was definitely something guiding me and making things happen. I had been wanting to leave for years and never had the means. When I started to meditate, and keeping myself in a state of higher vibration, things just.... happened. Don't get me wrong, things didn't just magically appear but doors opened and opportunities came forth. And I was able to take the steps necessary to get away from the place that was draining my spirit. I believe it was by design. I believe that things happened right when they needed to happen and not a moment before.
There are still so many things that I don't understand. I believe in the Laws of the Universe and have been working on the Law of Attraction. Working on trying to Manifest my dreams into reality and just when I needed it, I found a full time job... and not just any full time job, a very rewarding full time job taking care of elderly people who don't want to be in a nursing home. I've always taken care of people and actually feel kinda lost when I have no one to take care of and it happened just when it needed to. My little lady that I'm taking care of even called me her angel. That filled my heart with love.
I have learned that we do not know our true history. I've learned that we have been lied to about who we truly are... our true origins. I believe that human beings are more amazing and powerful than we know and I believe that even with all of the turmoil and hate and division going on in the world, we are about to enter a time of peace and love and abundance and prosperity. The Age of Aquarius. I believe that with every fiber of my being and it's because I can feel it in the depths of my soul. Meditation doesn't only quiet the mind, meditation with certain frequencies will also open your third eye, also know as your pineal gland and when that happens, truth comes flooding in. I have learned how important it is to live with feeling, not with thought.
Call me crazy if you will. I don't question these things anymore. I used to struggle and fight, and as much as I felt it was truth, I would fight it because I felt that there was no way this could have been hidden from us. But then I realized that every part of my journey in life has lead me to this point. Nothing is random. I'm sitting here writing at this very moment because that's what I'm supposed to be doing. You're sitting there reading at this very moment because you are supposed to be sitting there reading this.
When you start finding out the truth about the fluoride in toothpaste and in our water, and the things being put in our food and sprayed in our air... and how it's all designed to keep you dumbed down and docile and not asking questions... well, I'm kinda glad I am feeling these things. I know that it is my purpose to live keeping my vibrations high with love in my heart to effect those around me. And if with my story, I get one person to just stop and think, then putting this out there is well worth it.
We have been kept in the dark for so long. Light is information and truth. Now it's time to come into the light and figure out the truth. It's time to add to collective consciousness and start the ascension into the new age. And whether you believe me or not, you have to at the very least think it's interesting.
If I haven't bored you and you are still with me, Thank you form the bottom of my heart. Light and Love to each and every one of you!