We had to go... we piled into our chariot heavily laden with gear, we were excited to greet the open road and leave the heat and arid dusty air behind us for a while.
It wasn't long before the landscape had changed from reds and browns to the lush green sweeping all around us, a view that I have come to appreciate and love whenever we have driven this road.
This year has been weird to me, but today, I was so relieved to walk out the door of our 95% packed up house and escape for a while. My body ached, but I ignored it all and just breathed in the freedom of wind coming in through my open window... new horizons and new possibilities.
Driving along the Outeniqua pass, the Mountain Maiden welcomed me with all the folds and drops of her beautiful green skirts, dotted and decorated here and there with pink Watsonia flowers. Chicanes hugging the contours of the natural bends and occasional glimpses of the rock falls, too steep and hard to have vegetation, stunning dark umbers and ochres contrasting with the fairy greens.
I felt alive. A weird kind of serenity that then gave way to a liberating feeling of shackles falling from my perception, my spirit lifted by the unknown possibilities coming up ahead in time. Not knowing what might be over the next hill, the open road stretched out, with little lifts and falls, sad and happy sights along the way, much as life itself.
There were lovely moments and awful experiences this past year, almost everything in my life changed - some for the better, some for the worse...but through it all I am still here, still trucking, still smiling through it all and I wear my scars - they haven't broken my spirit yet, although they may have come close. There have been people who stood at my side, have helped to pick me up when I fell, dried my tears with loving care, listened to me in awe and woe at the tales of my days. There have been moments of solitude and absolute desolation too, the never ending shades of colour between happiness and sadness that makes life wonderful and horrendous, yet without the two oppositions, would we be able to appreciate either of them? The lessons that we learn from them, the enjoyment of feeling your heart light up with joy at hearing the voice of a loved one, the silliness you can experience with a toddler that amuses your inner child and brings you back to a simpler time when you felt life was secure or content or safe and warm.
Lory is my pivotal point through it all - no matter where life takes us, I am always able to return to a space of stability and inner strength when I hold her close. She is able to center me.
Finding that place inside where I can simply be a part of something bigger, without a constant inner struggle, some weird sense of peace I found while driving on that road. It was an inner sense of calm that I lost a long time ago, a sense of grace returned to me amid the cacophony of all the chaos that life has thrown at me and that I have caused. I embraced it all and let it lend me strength to keep pushing myself forward, to stand a little taller, to drive a little faster, to smile a little wider.
And the open road smiled back and beckoned to me. Keep the adventure alive. You never know what's round the next bend - greet it all with exuberance and wonder. # BRINGIT
Have a freaking awesome end to 2021!
Ranger Andy xx
