In the growing mini genre of Netflix original teen movies starring Noah Centineo, the latest entry, The Perfect Date, falls squarely in the middle of the pack.
When To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before — the first entry in the genre — came out last August, people kept telling me that they normally hate teen movies but felt compelled to watch that one twice. The Perfect Date is perfectly fine, but it’s not that kind of movie. Instead, it’s the kind of movie that I, someone who like teen flicks, watched once, enjoyed, and now never need to watch again.
Meanwhile, when Sierra Burgess Is a Loser came out in September, I actively disliked it and cringed my way through most of the scenes. The Perfect Date is not that kind of movie either. Never once did anyone onscreen do anything particularly aversive or embarrassing.
The Perfect Date is competent. It is just fine. It’s a perfectly middle-of-the-road teen flick, and it is notable mostly because it gives Centineo plenty of opportunities to do what he does best: gaze longingly at girls.
Centineo plays Brooks Rattigan, a high-achieving working-class kid who dreams of going to Yale so that he can change the world in some yet-to-be-determined manner. To make enough money to pay for an Ivy League tuition, Brooks begins renting himself out as a non-sexual escort: In exchange for a reasonable fee, he lets girls choose his personality for the evening and sculpt him into their perfect date. In a rapid-fire montage, he becomes a salsa dancer, an art history major, a jerk, a prep.
Rating
But while Brooks is great at becoming who other people want him to be, he has no idea who he actually is. That’s why searching for himself becomes the thematic spine of the movie, as he constantly latches onto status symbols that he believes will give him an identity. He is obsessed with attending Yale even though he has a full ride to the University of Connecticut. He’s infatuated with popular rich girl Shelby (Camila Mendes, a.k.a. Veronica from Riverdale), even though any fool can see that he’s meant to be with sardonic cool girl Celia (a nicely deadpan Laura Marano).
It’s in the love story that Centineo shines. His greatest skill as an actor is his ability to look at his love interests with mingled respect, admiration, and longing — which is also the greatest asset any rom-com leading man can have. And Marano plays Celia with a pleasing acerbic spikiness that contrasts beautifully with Centineo’s nice-guy chill.
But The Perfect Date is never quite specific enough about its characters to make the story sing. Instead, it tends to rely on cliché to give the audience the gist of a storyline, and then asks us to fill in the rest.
It tells us that Celia is cool because in her first scene, she’s wearing combat boots with a frilly dress, which has obviously never been done before. It tells us that Shelby is too high-maintenance to be cool because in the first shot of her, she’s taking a selfie, and obviously only vain girls do that. And it tells us that Brooks is a scrappy underdog worthy of our attention because in the first two minutes of the movie, a bully picks on him for being poor.
When executed well, those clichés can still be effective. But The Perfect Date is extremely pat, with no added complexity. It doesn’t have the exuberant love for its tropes and genre that elevated To All the Boys. Instead, it seems to be ticking off its story beats dutifully.
In fact, the most interesting thing about The Perfect Date might be the way its fake dating premise functions as a metaphor for Centineo’s career. Over the eight-month period that he’s been famous, Centineo has maintained his status by molding his public persona into exactly the archetype that the current cultural moment demands from the Internet’s Boyfriend: the hot guy who is also nice and who also acts like he respects women. He has, essentially, been Brooks Rattigan-ing all of America, and a few PR wobbles aside, he’s mostly pretty good at it. That’s kind of fascinating — and it has very little to do with anything this movie is ostensibly setting out to do.
As for what The Perfect Date actually is setting out to do, namely explore the instability of adolescent identity with some jokes and romance on the side? It’s fine! It’s perfectly pleasant! If you like teen movies, you’ll most likely enjoy watching it. And then you will most likely never think about it again.
A Ranking of All the Dates in Noah Centineo's "The Perfect Date"
In Netflix's The Perfect Date, Noah Centineo is back as Brooks Rattigan, a high school senior who’s determined to get out of his Connecticut hometown and into Yale University. Many will remember that Noah became the internet's boyfriend of sorts last year thanks to his role in To All the Boys I've Loved Before. This time around, he's channeling his charm yet again as a high schooler who devises quite the scheme to fix his predicaments. Firstly, Brooks can’t figure out how to make his admissions essay stand out from all the other applicants, even though he gets pretty much perfect grades and participates in a host of after-school activities. On top of that, even if he gets into Yale, his family doesn't have the money to pay for it. Brooks’ solution? Hire himself out via an app he and his BFF Murph (Odiseas Gerorgiadis) create called “The Stand-In” as a “chaperone”/date to young women in need of company for an evening. The app will serve as an impressive boon on his college apps, and the cash will help pay for Yale. The end!
Just kidding. Obviously, complications ensue, and amidst all the complications are a whole lot of dates. But which date, you may ask, is the perfect date? Which is second-most perfect? Well, we have thoughts. Luckily, all the dates in The Perfect Date are right here, ranked in order of least-perfect to most-perfect, for your reading pleasure. Of course, spoilers ahead for the teen rom-com.
Birthday Party Date
Well, this is the crème-de-la-crème of not-perfect dates. Brooks and Celia (Laura Marano ) stage their fake fight, sure, and the night does end with Brooks and Shelby (Camila Mendes) kissing, as planned. But Celia is clearly not into the agenda from the get-go, she still has to chat up Franklin even though her crush on him is already dead and buried, and she’s wearing heels, which she hates. Plus, Brooks gets way too real during the “fight” and Celia slaps him. This date is the pits.Office Date
Brooks accompanies someone to an office party where someone else snorts printer toner. What?! Though little info is given about this date, it’s questionable at best that Brooks, a teenager, is serving as a date for a person who’s attending an office party. Didn’t he and Murph build age restrictions into the Stand-In app?The First Formal Date
First, let's address how odd and problematic it is that Celia’s parents are paying a stranger to take their daughter to a school dance she clearly doesn’t care about and doesn’t want to go to. There is a lot to unpack there. Second, this date sets the whole movie plot in motion, which is key: Brooks gets his first glimpse of “angelic light” Shelby, Brooks and Celia start to bond, Brooks gets the idea for the Stand-In app. But, the premise of this date is rotten! Because what are you doing, Lieberman parents?!
Celia and Franklin’s Coffee Date
Cringe-worthy. With a side of pour-over coffee.The Second Formal Date
There are a few positive elements to this date: Brooks has an epiphany about his single-minded focus on getting into Yale; we learn that Leah, of the Dating Practice Date, got her happy ending; and Celia pretty much reveals to Brooks that she’s into him. The negatives: Shelby… kind of sucks, though she rightfully calls Brooks out for lying to her; Celia shoots Brooks down because she’s not interested in being his “back-up,” which, good for her, but a bad night overall for Brooks.Dinner Party Jerk Date
The task here is for Brooks to act like a total jerk to scare a girl’s parents so that they’ll be nicer when they meet her real boyfriend, and it appears to work. The parents do not seem pleased. But dubious success aside, Brooks’ accent and whole manner is mystifying during this date. Just…what is going on?Couch Date
This date seems like it’s terrible for Brooks, though it’s also perhaps the most literal manifestation of his “I’ll be whatever you want me to me” business model/personality. However, it seems like it was exactly what the girl hiring him wanted and needed at the time: four hours of someone listening to her and agreeing with her 100%.Yale Interview Date
Is this even a date? Celia calls it one, so yes. Evaluation: There is, as whenever they’re sharing a scene, some chemistry-infused banter between Brooks and Celia, but there’s also a fight between them. And OK, Brooks aces his Yale interview, but he does it by being the blank slate Ken doll he’s defaulted to for most of the movie—and that is not the moral of the story.Costume Contest Date/Salsa Dancing Date/Rodeo Date/'80s Party Date
None of these dates are actually shown during the movie, aside from Brooks shopping for outfits and then showing up at the date’s door, hence the bulk entry here. The takeaway here is that Brooks is probably spending a decent chunk of his Yale money at the thrift store, buying outfits for all these dates.
Art Show Date
A pretty neutral date, with points given for how well Noah Centineo can pull off artsy glasses and for showing off Brooks’ study skills. Sure, he’s got good grades, but with only a few hours notice, who can fault the ol’ Jackson-Pollock-cheat-sheet-on-the-forearm trick?Tennis Tourney Date
Similar to the above, except here we learn that Brooks is also good at tennis, apparently. Maybe he should try for a tennis team scholarship to Yale?Dating Practice Date
Brooks is attentive and nice during this date, actually giving Leah some sound advice that basically amounts to, “be yourself not what you think someone else wants you to be,” and as we see at the second Formal, it totally works for her. Go Leah! It’s pretty ironic that Brooks doesn’t take his own advice, though he is self-aware enough to admit that when he calls Celia out on doing the same thing. Anyway, kudos to this Dating Practice Date for being one of the only Stand-In dates Brooks goes on where it seems like he’s being his real self and not wearing a costume.Strolling Date
This date exists solely so that Brooks can get some unprompted advice on his love life from an elderly widow. It’s pretty random as a plot point, but she’s sweet and the fact that she and her husband took walks every day is heartwarming.Shelby’s House Party Date
Is the most important part of this date the fact that Celia’s “Vanilla” nickname for Brooks is born of it? Perhaps. Aside from that, Celia gets to chat up Franklin, Brooks gets to chat up Shelby, so ostensibly all date goals are met. But let’s be real: yes, the most important thing about this date is the vanilla-ice-cream-themed bonding that occurs between Celia and Brooks because, hello, they are the point of the movie! And their banter is charming.Celia and Brooks’ Coffee Date
Awkward, then cute, then kind of moving? Again, with a side of pour-over coffee.The Third Formal Date
Celia shows up at Brooks’ door, after having her Stand-In requests declined multiple times, to take Brooks to yet another school formal. However, this one is actually a formal of four in the Sub Sub shop, complete with Murph and Tuna Melt and lots of tropical-themed decorations. During this date, Brooks and Murph make up and kinda-sorta agree to be roommates in not-Yale college, and Celia and Brooks finally kiss. Since the whole movie is about Brooks and Celia falling for each other, obviously their first-kiss-date has to be the #1 most perfect date, right?