It's a great feeling when we figure something out about ourselves that lets us see things in a different light and handle them in a better way.
One thing I noticed about the events you related is that there seemed to be a difference in how your boss handled things in person as opposed to via email. From personal experience I've noticed a difference in how I respond to things and how others respond when there is time to process a response, write it down, edit it, reread it and finally hit Send. We don't have the time to do much planning and editing in our heads in the course of personal interaction especially when replies are needed quickly.
So for me, I rarely allow clients to talk with me on the phone or other electronic methods. I do everything by email. First, it gives me time to say exactly what I want to say in the tone I want to say it. Second, there is a record of everything said between us.
Finally for me, this is why I like social media like this. I can read a post and think carefully about my reply before sending it. If I'm having an emotional reaction, I can step away for a bit and come back later and give a more detached response.
Thanks for your thought provoking post! This has been my record of random thoughts inspired by it. :)
RE: For people with C-PTSD: When your C-PTSD is triggered what exactly do you experience?