In therapy, how should we begin the mourning process for the death of a parent? The relationship was a most difficult one. We dread unearthing a slew of complex emotions.

I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to approach this in therapy. I think you work with whatever is coming up in a given session.

One thing to know about difficult relationships—the mourning after death may look different than expected because quite possibly a lot of mourning was going on while the person was still alive. When a lot of mourning has already been done “ahead of time” the feelings that come out after death might be more akin to what one might expect in the later stages of grief.

Whatever the feelings are, best to let yourself experience them as they come with no judgment and maybe a bit of compassionate curiosity.