I received this comment from the HIVE liarbot. Sorry, but 4 years on Hive? No.
You mean Steemit. My first cryptobestie. I fell in love with it all. And, no surprise, my heart was wounded. I let my guard down. Wolves descended.
I’ve been doing that lately as well, trusting..and now, as I realize how stupid I am to believe in most people, I am beginning to build that old, familiar wall around me again. Disappearing.
That’s why I began writing at Steemit anyway. I was running away from my problems. Silly me. It’s not a wise decision to ever make.
But I am so good at it.
Know what my problem is? My curse? I ALWAYS care more than I am cared about. Every time. It has never not been true. The fact that I also have a faulty brain doesn’t help much. I’m too sensitive, I am obsessive and possessive and easily offended.
I expect (though rightfully) that I will always be replaced by someone happier, fancier, beautiful, someone who has their shit together and isn’t as dark as the middlest midnight inside of their head.
I can’t compete with normal. I just am so tired of trying. It hurts too much to always matter lastly. Just once it would be nice to be the first priority in someone’s life. But to be a realist, it’s just not ever going to happen.
So, anyway. My actual real birthday is approaching, Scorpion that I am. November 12th. I don’t care about birthdays anymore, but I don’t approve of lies at all. Get my 4 years at Steemit down in stone. I am still actually there. It just is not my friend anymore.
Thanks for reading, whoever you are.
Hello to my Helpie friends, I miss you.
❤️ -Serena