It's my 30th birthday. And have this mixed feelings, the unexplained one, as I looked back and compare it on how I spent my 20's.
Tears starting to fall into my eyes.
I feel scared. Pressured. Nervous And Excited as well.
This new epoch of mine is a new one. A different one.
I'm 30 and I'm single. No kids, No husband. No boyfriend. Living Alone.
My life is amazing, free and stable.
But why is it I feel this way? I feel numb. I feel empty. And suddenly happy. It's really weird.
As I turned another page of my story, realizations came upon me.
That this new beginning is going to change me big time.
There were more lonely long nights, quiet home and no weekend night outs.
During 30's, your friends that you used to hangout every time will be busy. Building their career, relationships and even their own families.
You'll call them and no one will answer.
It felt like you're left out being alone.
You'll schedule them for meet ups and no one will come.
They don't forget you but they don't prioritized you anymore because they are more focused on their own agendas.
Dating is really hard. Your standards are way too high that it may seems like no one fits at what you require because you are more reserved and not into fun anymore.
Your career is very stable that you are so ready to enter the settle down phase. You can afford things that you used to craved when you're broke. But at the same time, bills are coming up and you'll need to be more responsible.
Your mom is getting old. Your siblings are having more kids.
But one thing I am proud of myself is that. I still remain strong. Do my own thing. And keeps on going to whatever the fate wants me to be.
To all single thirties out there. I hope we'll get through this. I know that it's not just me who felt this kind of feeling so keep on moving forward and be ready to whatever adventure awaits for us out there!
