I was walking in the woods in the nearby valley. The day was beautiful. Birds singing in the trees, mountain goats dancing the Polka and my shepherd was still trying to recover from his drinking binge this past weekend. This intense, natural mix of sounds had me hypnotized. I felt alive. I felt as if I was a dot of consciousness sliding through the sea of energy - an immense satisfaction and appreciation to everything that surrounds me. I was IT observing myself within IT.
A flash of light has dragged my attention. I came closer to it. Between roots of a mighty ancestral tree, there was a plant. It smelled so good, also had a weird glowering appearance. I got scared at first, like really - what in the actual fuck. An instant paranoia kicked in and I freaked out. Something was not right. I felt it in my skinny, autistic bones. Maybe I accidentally chewed a mushroom on my way here?
You are fucking "crazy sheep" from now on" - I told to myself and giggled. I found the statement meaninglessly funny in a way that only an autistic fuck like myself could comprehend. -BBbbeeeebbebebe - Then out of nowhere I've heard a whispering evil voice:
Who gives a shit A.S. (Autistic Sheep), your instincts are inherently fucked anyways. Not that Autism is curable. - suddenly any little self-control I have had left - was gone and I was about to run as far as I can see, but something stopped me. I approached it.
-What are you? - I asked with wonder and excitement while looking around, totally lost in space and time.
-I am you. - it replied and a wave of diabolic laughter with thousands of echoes getting quieter and louder started to spread all around my mind. It got darker and darker and the laughter was getting louder and louder with each and every echo.
Silence and dark.
I started to hear a weird expanding bleep that slowly morphed into some type of encrypted quantum wave wobble:
- Consume me. - It echoed.
Silence.
What the fuck. I wasn't sure of what to make out of it. But curiosity took over all my other senses. I put my muzzle closer to that beautiful, but yet scary thing. { That smell. Ommmmgggood} I took a deep, deep breath. Felt the warmth rising up my nostrils. As if a god himself have decided to show his endless might through my sense of smell. The feeling of wonder got interrupted:
- Take some of my pollen and snort it.
Silence. - Come on you autistic shit. - You know you like it, eat that cucumber (mild voice of evil echoed in my subconsciousness). [ wtf??? ]
All the sense of divine was gone, now I was pretty sure it was a mushroom or some shit that I've eaten. Was still curious. This feeling where you are confident that you're crazy and wrong, yet you still play along in hopes that momentum might switch:
- You've got any surface where I could make a line? - I giggled "Beeebbeeeebebebeeeeeeee". - Even though I tried to look as cool as possible, I was shaking and my autistic voice was radiating fake confidence. Realization of that forced me into hysterical laughter. I was laughing by myself, from myself.
-Oh, you're ready to receive a might of god..god..god..god.. - That voice, it sounded somewhat more familiar this time.
I closed my snoot to the thing. Pollen particles have started to detach from it. A Beautiful dance of glowing dots under a shade of the tree, then they all went up through my nostrils, ears, mouth and finally my ass. I felt asleep.
I woke up with a strong pain just bellow my lower back. The first thing that came to mind was that I got raped by my shepherd. Fucker must have put some ketamine into my food. He could fucking ask alright. Felt betrayed.
I was trying to lift my head but I couldn't. So I fell asleep again.
Woke up feeling fine this time. Felt as if a God have planted his seed into me. Also made a weird bond with nature.
Now I understand what human god is.